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I close my eyes because the tears begin blurring my vision but I continue to listen. I hear the melodies weaving through the air and I know Mathew can hear them too. A wave of peace washes over me, leaving me breathless.
“Thank you,” I whisper, knowing he’ll hear even though I’m not looking at him.
“I promised to take care of you, sunshine. That includes helping you to let go.”
He knew. He knew I was still holding on to that last string. I have been for years. I haven’t been living, not really. Until Sam.
Sam stormed into my life filling it with emotions I never knew I could feel. He sparked me back to life and resuscitated my heart. I can hear the beating in my ears. I’m alive. It’s time to start living.
Opening my eyes, I look at Sam.
“Come here.” He opens his arms allowing me to sit in his lap. I snuggle in close as I lay my head on his chest. I hear his heartbeat intertwining with my own.
“You have given me more than I can even describe. You brought me back, Sam. You gave me what no one else could. Peace. I’ve finally found peace and it’s because of you,” I pause trying to continue without fucking up the most important part. With a deep breath, I vow, “I love you, Samuel. You have forever been my always. I knew it from day one. It wasn’t a silly little crush. Your soul called to mine in the most desperate of ways. I—“ with the back of my hand I wipe my eyes, smearing the black mess painted across my face but I don’t have it in me to care. Sam sees me. He sees my heart and soul. His called out to mine as the actors dance together in the theater.
“Marcy, when I met you I was enchanted with your stories. At just nine your mind fascinated me. I couldn’t explain it. I knew you were special. When I saw you again at the funeral, the fast, all encompassing, obsession consumed me to where I could barely breathe. I knew in an instant that you were it for me. You, whom I had known for half my life. You had been irrevocably weaving yourself into my heart until I was nothing without you.” Sam swipes his fingers under my eyes then tangles his fingers into my hair, positioning my head where he could fully see me.
“I didn’t give a shit about the age difference. I knew you were placed in my life for a reason. You became a permanent fixture that all my thoughts turned to. I knew I couldn’t have you until I was out of the military because I would die over and over again forcing punishment on myself from beyond if I didn’t make it back to you. So, I waited, biding my time. But then I faltered, wondering if I would ever be as good as what you deserved. So I watched from afar believing you were living your best life, until your birthday party. That’s when everything changed inside me. My body craved yours with a ferocity that I’ve never known. Being that close to you felt like I was burning alive but I knew my only salvation was having you in my arms.”
Sam took my lips in his, losing ourselves in each other. Once he pulled back I could see there was still more he wanted to say.
“I didn’t understand your brother that day. But his words were clear. He knew. Somehow, he always knew.” He chuckled thinking back.
“He entrusted you with me. His final wish had been what I had longed for but denied myself. But when I took your hand in mine that night, I knew I could never be apart from you again.” He presses a longing kiss to my knuckles, his eyes never leaving mine. Chills run through my body from his words, his touch, his everything.
He places my hand on my lap then digs through his tux, revealing to me a small velvet box. My heart, already on the edge of bursting, somehow manages to accelerate.
I don’t know where to look but my eyes land on his. His hazel pools of unending passion shine down on me. I faintly hear the box opening but I’m more focused on his words.
“I would have asked permission but it was already granted to me long ago.” A pang of sadness hits my heart but it’s quickly washed away as a tear slides down his beautiful sculpted cheek. I’ve only seen Sam cry three times. First at Matthew’s funeral then when I woke up in the hospital and now. Emotions bubble inside me threatening to rupture.
“Sunshine, please allow me to take care of you. Allow me to be your rock when your mind threatens to drift you away. Your shield when the world is too much. Your support when you need it. Allow me to be your equal in all ways, sharing my family with you so you’re never alone again in this crazy huge world. Marcy, please allow me to be your husband, lover, partner, your forever for the rest of our days.”
Nodding, I look down at my hand already donning the most perfect diamond I’ve ever seen. He didn’t give me a chance because he already knew the answer. My finger wiggles, the diamond twinkling from the stage lights. It’s then that I recognize the ring.
I gasp, bringing my hand to my mouth. He smirks like he was waiting for me to notice.
“How did you–? How–” I stutter, more tears begin streaming down my cheeks.
“A few months after Matthew’s funeral, I received a letter from your mother while I was overseas. She’d seen our connection at the funeral and knew we would find our way to one another, eventually. She knew you’d always dreamed of having this wedding ring as your own.” I nod in disbelief.
My Nanny’s wedding ring was the most precious possession in the world. I always wondered what had happened to it after my parents’ funeral. I figured it got misplaced and was lost forever. My sweet mother would let me play dress up with it when I was younger.
I’m twirling in my beautiful green dress my mom bought me for the dance coming up. I look in my mirror seeing Sam leaning up against the wall with a smirk on his face. I turn around, embarrassment flooding my cheeks that he saw me.
“You’re mom sent me. It’s time for dinner, sunshine.” He gestures behind him toward the kitchen. “But now I’m intrigued. What do you have here?” He asks moving closer, turning my hand over so the ring sparkles around the room.
“It’s, um, my Nanny’s wedding ring. It will be mine one day.” I gulp at the nerves tickling my belly. Sam’s cologne floats through the air making me hazy.
“I see, but what are you doing with it? Aren’t you a little young to get married?” He chuckles as his thumb brushes over the ring, but I snatch my hand away from him.
“I’m practicing, thank you very much!” I turn back to the mirror running my hands down the soft fabric of the dress.
“Is that right? Well, where is the groom then?” he asks as he goes back to leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.
He’s right here, I think to myself. “He doesn’t know yet.” I mention turning back to Sam.
“Hmm, sounds like he needs to get his head out of his ass and realize what he’s missing out on.” Laughter erupts from my lips but Sam doesn’t laugh. He stands still watching me.
