Page 285 of The Coach


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“I guess we should just get it out of the way and admit that Lincoln and I had a personal relationship that has ended, but we’re committed to continuing to co-host this podcast together and remaining friends. In addition, I am no longer the Aces team correspondent for a local news channel, but my love of the game has never wavered, and not having restrictions placed on me by my former employer means I have a lot more freedom to interview players, coaches, and staff. I’m looking forward to continuing to bring you the latest insider information from the Aces in this role, and we’re working to expand the podcast to offer even more insight into the team.”

Remaining friends?

She never told me she wanted to remain friends.

“We’re excited about the future of the podcast,” I add. “And I’d also like to address some of the headlines that have come out about me.”

“The floor is yours, Coach,” she says.

I clear my throat. “I was raised to believe family loyalty comes first above all else, and I worked hard to maintain that throughout my life. But I recently learned how wrong that was. My loyalty can’t be questioned. I was working from a place of what I thought was the right thing. But as it turns out, there were other factors at play, things I never knew about…things I fully believed despite the lies surrounding them, and while I remained loyal, I was also stupid. And for that, I will forever be sorry, in particular to you, Jolene, and your family.”

“Oh,” she says, clearly surprised by the direction I took that.

“I made a mistake, and it was a big one. I trusted my own father as I thought he acted out of a place of selflessness for me, but as it turns out, it was an absolutely selfish move on his part, and I’m stuck now paying the consequences for that nearly two decades later.”

“That may be true, but you had ample opportunity to come clean,” she points out, and I wonder if she’ll edit this out or if she’ll let it run.

I should be careful. I should choose the right words.

But in this moment, being honest with her feels more important than that. This might be my only shot to get her to really hear what I’m trying to say.

“I did, and I chose wrong. I thought dredging up secrets two decades old wouldn’t do anybody any good when our main priority became figuring out how to bridge the divide between our families. Casting light on those dark secrets would only have deepened the divide.”

“You don’t know that,” she points out.

“No, I don’t. But they came out anyway, and look where we are now.”

She’s quiet as she takes that point under consideration. “I guess we’ll never know if finding out before that would’ve changed things.”

“What can I do to make it up to you?” I ask.

She closes her eyes for a beat before she looks away from the screen. Away from me. “Let’s just stay on track here, okay?” She glances down, presumably at a paper with her list of questions, and then she looks up at me. “What went wrong against the Packers?”

I sigh. I felt like I was so close to getting an answer, and then she hits me with this question. Hard-hitting and painful just the same, though in a completely different sense, I suppose.

We talk about the game and what we need to adjust going forward. I wish we had Miles back. It’s a team effort, but we sailed through the quarters he played, and now that Fletcher is in, we’re struggling.

I do my best not to sound like I’m blaming Fletcher. I’m not, but if he doesn’t step it up, my job might be on the line.

She’s in her element as she reverts to reporter mode, and it’s kind of amazing to watch. She’s putting aside whatever personal vendetta she has against me in order to make this podcast a success, and her hard work is evident in every question she asks.

As we start to wrap the call, I know I need to tell her what I’m doing.

We both do our standard outro and issue our goodbyes, and she ends the recording though we’re still on the call together.

“Thanks,” she says, and I hold up a hand.

“Before you end the call, can I tell you something?”

She sighs. “What? I have a lot of editing to do since you couldn’t stop talking about our personal life,” she snaps as she jots something down on a notepad.

“I’m trying to figure out how to get you to trust me again, so I wanted to let you know I hired a private investigator to look into Jeremy,” I blurt.

Her head whips up to look at me. “You what?”

“I know Jonah hates going over there, and I know you’ve been fighting hard for full parental rights. I thought maybe if we could find something on him, this would help. I’m fighting alongside you, Jo. Even if you hate me.”

“I don’t hate you,” she murmurs, and she hasn’t really reacted to what I just told her other than looking totally surprised.

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