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She sits on the edge of the bed. “Babe, I know you’re hurting right now, but that doesn’t mean it has to be the end.”
I close my eyes. “You told me to rest today. This isn’t restful.”
She sighs. “I know. And it’s okay to be mad. But is it really worth throwing away everything the two of you have…everything you could have?” She glances toward my stomach.
“I’m not throwing it away, Sam,” I protest, but my voice is weak as I say the words. “He did this. He had every chance in the world to come clean, and he didn’t.”
“What good would it have done if he had?” she asks. “It would’ve only made things worse. Think about it, Jo. I know you’re upset, and you have every right to be. But try putting yourself in his shoes. He fell for a sports reporter who was covering his team. You think he didn’t have reservations about what to share with you and when?”
I close my eyes. “I get what you’re saying. But I only have another hour before Jonah gets here, and I really just want to be alone.”
She purses her lips. “Okay. I will leave you be. But I’m here if you need anything. And you know you have to tell him.” She nods meaningfully toward my stomach.
I know she’s right even though I don’t admit that to her. I’m just not sure how that’s going to shake out.
And I also know that I’m not ready to even consider splitting time with him where our baby is concerned. I already do that with Jonah. I can’t fathom doing it with another baby, another dad, and another set of rules and responsibilities.
I close my eyes and will away the pain, but it’s there. Not in my head. Not in my stomach. Not even in my wrist.
Right there smack dab in my heart.
“Mom!” Jonah’s voice pulls me from the state of half-awake, half-asleep when he rushes in my room to my side. “Are you okay? Sam said you were in an accident!”
He climbs onto my bed, and I sit up to give him a hug. “I’m okay, baby. I’m okay.”
“What happened?” His little voice sounds so worried, and I feel awful that I’m the root cause of that anxiety.
“It was a car accident. I lost control when I swerved to avoid hitting a motorcycle. Lincoln was with me, and he’s okay, too. I just banged up my wrist a little.” I hold it up for him to see, and he presses a gentle kiss to it.
“There, all better, just like you do for me.”
Tears pinch behind my eyes. “You’re such a good boy. And that’s why what I have to tell you next is going to hurt so much.”
His brows pinch together. “What is it?”
I clear my throat and heave in a breath. “I decided to end things with Lincoln. We’re not going to be moving in with him after all.”
He’s silent a beat, and then he starts to cry.
My broken heart seems to shatter a little more.
“I’m so, so sorry, honey,” I murmur.
“Why?” he begs through his tears.
“Things just aren’t going to work out between us.” I keep it simple, making sure not to place any blame on Lincoln to Jonah even though in my heart, I feel like it’s all his fault. If he just would’ve told me…
Then what?
Is Sam right?
Would it have made any real difference?
“Was Grampy right about him?” he asks. “That he’s a bad man?”
I shake my head. “No, no. Nothing like that. He’s not a bad man. He’s just not the right man for me.”
“How come?” he cries.
