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I’ll beg tomorrow. The pain is too fresh right now—both physical and emotional—and I’m not going to push it after all we’ve been through tonight.
I feel beaten down and broken, but I also know a new day will dawn tomorrow, and we can figure this out. We will figure this out. There’s just no other option.
The driver is still in the driveway, so I wave him down. “Can I catch a ride home?” I ask.
He nods, and I hop in the back and give him my address. We pull up to my place ten quiet minutes later. He tried making conversation, but I just don’t have it in me tonight to make small talk about my team when there’s so much on the line.
When I can’t stop thinking about the gold flecks in her hazel eyes.
When I’m scared as fuck that I’ll never get to see those eyes smiling in my direction again.
I’m doing everything I can in the back of this goddamn car to hold myself together. I’m nearly failing by the time we pull up to my house.
I head inside, and my mom is asleep on the couch. She must’ve waited up for me as long as she could before she gave in.
I’ll fill her in tomorrow, and maybe she’ll even help me figure out where I go from here.
I take a shower and climb into the bed that was supposed to be for the two of us, and I try to fall into a sleep that never comes.
CHAPTER 2: JOLENE
“We broke up.”
Sam is still awake once I’m done with my shower—an interesting feat with a sore wrist, by the way.
Her jaw falls open.
I think about telling her the next part. I’m pregnant.
I can’t make my mouth say the words yet. It’s like I want her to know, but I’m also not ready to deal with it yet.
Jonah’s going to have a little brother or sister.
I’m ten weeks along. The baby is fine with a strong and healthy heartbeat despite tonight’s accident. Despite the fact that I didn’t know and haven’t been taking care of myself the way I should be with a baby in there.
How the hell I could be ten weeks along and not know is baffling to me.
How the hell I could get pregnant when I’m on birth control is also baffling…but I guess I was close to the time for another birth control shot and my body decided it wanted this baby.
She’s a fighter, I’ll give her that.
I don’t know if it’s a girl, but somehow I feel like it is.
It’s such a mixed bag of feelings. On the one hand, babies are a blessing. Always. On the other hand…the man I broke up with tonight after deciding I’d never again be able to trust him is the father.
Sam hugs me. “Oh babe, I’m so sorry. Do you want to talk about it?”
And that is why she’s my best friend. It’s two in the morning, and we have to be up with the boys in five hours, but she’s more concerned about me than she is about sleep.
“Yes. No. I found out his father intentionally hurt mine all those years ago, and he knew.”
She gasps. “He knew?”
I nod as I clench my jaw. “He knew. And he kept it from me all this time. I thought we were at a place where there were no more secrets between us, but I guess there was still one left.”
“What are you going to do?” she asks carefully.
“I already ended it with him. I went to his place to confront him after I found out, and he didn’t deny it. I tried to leave, he got in the car with me, and I was crying. I shouldn’t have been driving. I swerved to avoid a motorcycle and slammed into a tree.”
