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I reach over and grab his hand in mine, and I’m about to say something about how he’s not alone when he adds a final thought.
“Even with you, the one person who seems to really get me…I’m not allowed to be with you because of the game. And not just because my father took your father out of the game and your father drained my father of his dreams. But also because I’m the head coach and you’re the reporter.” He blows out a breath. “But that’s life, you know? That’s fate at work. I’m finally back with the person I love more than anyone else in the world, and I can’t have her.”
I set down my wineglass and then I climb on top of him. I wrap my arms around him and straddle him in a full body hug, and he leans over to deposit his whiskey glass on the end table beside us. He wraps his arms around me, too.
“You have me,” I say softly into his neck, and he tightens his hold on me. “You have me forever, Lincoln, and if we have to hide forever just to be together, then that’s what we do.”
He sighs as he tightens his grip around me, and it finally dawns on me that this is it. This is what’s going to make us stronger. We will fight through this haze together, and we will find a way out to the other side…together.
Someday we will find a way to be together in public, but the public doesn’t matter. What matters is how we feel. What matters is allowing ourselves to explore that and nurture it, and as much as it sucks not to be able to share that with others—like Jonah, for instance—at least we’re together.
And that’s all that matters.
Or at least I wish it was…so I’ll keep telling myself that until I start to believe it.
CHAPTER 26: LINCOLN
The rest of the week goes quickly, and suddenly I find myself with the rookies reporting to the Complex for the first day of their camp. The veterans will meet next Monday morning, and the entire team will board the buses to head to California for an intense two weeks as we get a feel for how we’re going to gel as a team.
And somehow, I will find a way to sneak in time with Jolene.
It’s beyond dangerous for both of us. I’ll look like the horny idiot who can’t keep it in my pants if we get caught, and she’ll look like everything she’s trying not to look like.
It’s probably better to stay away from each other…but we’ll be pressed together day in and day out since she’s getting behind the scenes footage.
It’s only two weeks.
We can do this.
Except I’m sure we can’t.
I’d love to have her sleep over every night before we head out, but she can’t. She’s spending every possible second she has with her son, and I don’t blame her.
For the first time, she really made me think about whether that’s something I want, too.
I haven’t spent a lot of time around kids, to be honest. I’ve run into Cade on occasion when I’ve been at Sam’s place, but he definitely resents me. Jonah, on the other hand, makes me wonder whether I could really do this someday. There’s something about seeing someone who is half Jolene that makes me love him without even knowing him.
And that’s scary as fuck.
* * *
The first week of camp is just the rookies, though some of my older players stop by to offer feedback and help. Both Luke and Ben are here to lead meetings with the wide receivers and tight ends, respectively, along with the position coaches, and Jack offers feedback to the quarterback coach.
Brandon Fletcher showed up. He’s not a rookie—in fact, he’s been with the Aces longer than Jack Dalton was, but he doesn’t want Miles Hudson showing him up. And I don’t blame him. The question of who our QB1 is going to be is on everyone’s mind right now, but Fletcher is showing up even though he doesn’t have to right now. That tells me he’s willing to put in the work to earn the title.
A few of our practice squad guys are here to help run drills, but we start the day on the field—mostly because it’s hot as fuck in Vegas, and I don’t want to wear out the rookies before the rest of the team heads to California next week.
It’s how I’ll run camp at the vineyard, too. The player’s association limits our time on the field to two and a half hours a day, but I will fill up every other second of time that I can with off-field work.
We’ll start the day with practice at nine. We’ll break for lunch, and then we’ll have a team meeting followed by breakout position meetings and individual workouts. We’ll break for dinner and finish up the evening with our team installation drills where we review which plays from the playbook we’ll be practicing in the morning. Players will be dismissed for the evening, and some will go to treatment while others will stay up studying the playbook and coaches will talk to players individually or to the media if necessary. And then it’ll start all over again in the morning.
Some guys dread training camp. Not me. Even when I was a player, I was excited for it. It was the chance to be back with my brothers, the people who understand our love for this game like no one else. It’s the chance to show what we’re made of, to show how badly we want this. To earn our place.
But one of my favorite parts of camp is seeing those breakout players who put in the work in the offseason. There’s always one who you think isn’t going to make the fifty-three man roster, and then he surprises the shit out of everyone by playing hard and earning his place.
And I can’t wait to see who that’s going to be this year. I can’t wait to see the vibe we have as I let Brandon take the helm and fight it out with Miles. Brandon’s been around longer, but that doesn’t mean he deserves it.
Nobody here deserves it. Not until they prove they do.
