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I don’t make the promise.
But I do make a vow to myself that I will do whatever it takes to protect her.
And I never break my promises to myself.
CHAPTER 33: JOLENE
“I won’t let him hurt you,” he says quietly. His voice is low and venomous, and I instantly regret telling him about what happened with Rivera. “I need to find a way to protect you.”
I see the sincerity in his eyes. The love. The fear and the concern.
He’s right to be concerned, but I’m also concerned. I’m concerned he’s going to press this issue and he’s going to expose the two of us.
“Come live here with me while we figure this out,” he finally says. “That way I can protect you when you’re with me.”
“You know I can’t,” I protest. “And it’s ridiculous to think you can protect me every moment of every day anyway. I’ve got a son to care for. I’ve got my own responsibilities, and the season is just around the corner. You won’t be able to be with me all the time. I’m fine. I’m an adult, and I can handle myself.”
He stills as he stares at me for a few beats, and I can almost see the moment when reality plows back into him.
“Fuck, Jo. What are we doing?”
I shake my head as tears spring to my eyes. “I don’t know. We keep saying we’re figuring things out, but this has an end date, Linc. It just does. It doesn’t matter how we feel. It doesn’t matter whether we were meant for each other. Between our families and careers, we were doomed from the start, and having Rivera digging into us doesn’t make things any easier.”
“So that’s it?” he asks quietly, his voice clearly pained as he tries to come to terms with what I’m saying. “We just…call it quits?”
“What other choice do we have? We’re already stumbling and we’ve barely reconnected. Are you really going to tell your dad about us? Are you really going to choose me in the end when both our families have made it clear they are our only choice?” I sound hysterical, and I’m aware of that. But maybe what happened with Rivera tonight happened for a reason. Maybe it’s the catalyst to force us to stop living in this dream world where we think we’re being so smart sneaking around with this little secret.
There’s too much at stake, and it’s time to come to grips with reality.
Before he gets the chance to respond, my phone starts ringing.
It’s Jonah.
A glace at the top of the phone tells me it’s after eleven.
Jonah is literally the only person I’d interrupt this conversation for, especially since a call from your kid after eleven at night when he’s not at home with you is perhaps one of the most anxiety-inducing feelings a mother can have.
“Everything okay, baby?” I answer.
I hear a sniffle, and his voice is a soft cry when he murmurs. “No.”
I leap up from Lincoln’s oversized black couch, my own worries forgotten as my son takes center stage. “What’s wrong?”
“Dad and Alyssa are fighting and I don’t know what to do.”
“They’re fighting?” I repeat. “Like yelling at each other or physically?”
“I’m supposed to be sleeping but they’re yelling at each other and I just heard a loud bang, like someone threw something and it broke. And now I hear Luna and Lily crying in their room. I just want to come home, Mom.” His voice is low and tearful, and my chest grows immediately heavy as I listen to his words and try to process what’s going on here after this heavy conversation with Lincoln.
I definitely hear a ruckus in the background, but I can’t make anything out. And then I hear another loud bang and some yelling. My heart stops for a second.
I don’t think my son is in danger. Jeremy wouldn’t hurt him.
But I also didn’t think Jeremy was capable of cheating on me when I was pregnant, yet he did—with the woman he’s fighting with right now. And I don’t know Alyssa well enough to be sure she wouldn’t say something nasty to my son since he isn’t her son.
I hate this. I hate that he’s dealing with this. I just want to protect him for everyone and everything.
All I know is I need to get my son the fuck out of there before he gets hurt—physically or emotionally.
