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“Listen, man. I don’t want any trouble. I’ll do the best I can for the Aces. Have a good night.”
I start to walk away when I hear him mutter, “Pussy.”
My nostrils flare, and I’m about to turn around and put this asshole in his place when I glance up and my eyes meet Jolene’s. She’s watching me, gauging my reaction and seeing what I’m about to do, and somehow knowing she’s here watching me makes me want to step up and do the right thing.
I draw in a deep breath, and instead of turning around, I ignore him.
I keep walking until I arrive at the ride share, and the car I reserved shows up nearly as soon as I walk up to the area. I hop in, and I glance up at Jolene. She offers a small wave and a tight smile, but we didn’t say goodbye.
Because we can’t.
My chest feels heavy at the thought, but there’s not much else I can do.
My driver tries to make conversation, but I ignore him as I type out a text to Jolene. I contemplate what to say a while before I settle on something vague.
Me: I didn’t get a chance to say this to you, but this weekend told me everything I needed to know.
I’m nearly home when her reply comes through.
Jolene: Could you be any more unclear?
I chuckle as I read her words, and I wait to reply until I’m inside my house. I set my suitcase in my bedroom and unpack it in the silence of my house.
It’s too quiet.
I’ve never noticed how quiet.
Me: It all came back but it’s stronger than it used to be.
She doesn’t reply, and I worry I overstepped as I unpack my toiletries and start a load of laundry before setting my empty suitcase on the top shelf of my closet.
I turn on ESPN while I search my refrigerator for something to eat, and I settle on my favorite comfort food: mac and cheese. I’m not a culinary genius, but that I can do. Especially the microwave ones, which I keep a stock of in the freezer.
Did I drink black coffee and skip the hash browns at breakfast yesterday before my speech? You bet. Am I home now and the nerves of speaking in front of fifty thousand people are gone? Absolutely, and now I face different obstacles as I try to figure out what went down this weekend.
I give up pretty quickly. Women are virtually impossible to figure out.
I don’t hear from Jolene until nearly ten, and I’ve spent the hours waiting anxiously when it felt like I sort of put my heart on the line in my last text.
Jolene: Sorry, had to get J to bed. It all came back for me, too, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with that.
My chest tightens at her words, and I flip off the television so I can focus on this conversation.
Me: Don’t be sorry. How was it getting home to him?
Jolene: Perfect. He stayed with my friend Sam. We’re actually living with her for the time being.
I think about asking why, but it’s not really my place. I don’t think.
I wonder for a beat what it would be like for her to live here. I realize it’s a stupid thought to have considering she has a son, but I can’t seem to banish the thought of fucking her on the enormous black couch where I’m sitting or on the white quartz countertops or against my shower walls or in my bed.
Jesus, just the thought of it has my cock begging for another round with her.
Me: I miss you. Already. I miss everything we had this weekend. I miss pizza on the bed and drunk JoLo.
I send it before I lose my nerve.
Jolene: I miss you, too. I miss what we had when we were teenagers, and I felt it this weekend…only somehow more intense than it was back then.
