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“I’m sorry I hadn’t told you. I know you probably feel like it should’ve been you, or maybe you don’t, I don’t know.”
It’s so weird to be with someone who knows me so well. I can’t believe I ever gave this up.
“Come here.” I slide my chair back. She walks over and climbs into my lap. I run my hand up her back, cradling the back of her head, my fingers tangling in her dark strands. “Never be afraid to tell me anything. I’m a big boy. And I just want you to know that once Clayton is okay with us, I’m taking over.”
She runs her hand down my stubbled face. “Okay.”
I pull her down to my face, and our lips are about to touch when the front door opens.
“You’ve got to be kidding me!”
Clayton’s home.
I pull into the driveway at my family’s home. It’s Saturday, so my dad and brothers are likely down in the ranch area. After Clayton got home, he went to his room, Gillian and I ate breakfast, and I left. This whole trying to let Clayton come to terms with us isn’t helping us move forward.
I walk down to the cattle area, and Bessie, our Guernsey cow, is at the fence line. She was just a calf when I left for college, and she’s our oldest cow. It’s a miracle she’s still alive. I think my brothers and I all love her so much because she’s such a great mother to her calves. If I thought too long about it, I could probably make some correlation to us growing up without a mother, but why bother?
Jude spots me and rides up on Titan, his horse. “What brings you down here?”
I run my hand down Titan’s nose. “I came to see Dad, but I have a question for you too.”
He climbs off Titan and walks with him toward the horse barn. “What’s up?”
“Why didn’t anyone tell me you guys helped Clayton when he was younger? Trained with him so he’d get some playing time.”
He grunts. “Gillian told you, huh?”
“Yeah. Why the secret?”
We walk into the horse barn, and he brings Titan into his stall. “Why does it matter? He’s not yours.”
“But Gillian…”
He laughs. “What? Is yours? You sticking around then?”
My blood boils, at my limit for all the shit he gives me for leaving. “What the hell is wrong with you? You want me to apologize?”
He shuts the door to the stable. “I don’t want your apologies.”
I follow him as he walks out of the barn.
Emmett arrives on Brutus, climbing off while the horse is still prancing. He’s such a moron sometimes. “Hold up. Let me get some popcorn.”
“Fuck off, Emmett,” I say, continuing after Jude. “Just come at me. Get it out of your system.”
Jude turns around. “It’s nothing. Your skin too thin to take a joke now?”
“You’re not joking. You’re making digs. I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry for leaving to go pursue my dream and that you didn’t get to. I get that you were left to take care of the ranch. There’s nothing I can do about that.”
“You’re fucking clueless.” Jude steps up to me, our chests almost brushing.
“Hey.” Emmett comes between us and puts his hand on each of our chests. “You’re brothers.”
“Shut up, Emmett,” we say in unison.
We stare one another down, me an inch taller, which doesn’t make any difference. It’d be a fair fight.
“It’s not that you left, Ben. But think about the shape of the ranch when you left. Think about how it was failing. We did need you here, but I told Dad to let you go. That I’d manage it, that Emmett could do more.”
