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For the longest, he and I stood there in a heated exchange of unspoken words and lustful challenges and dares. He wanted me; I wanted him. But were we ready for that? Having Ezekiel sexually meant having him completely. That’s what I wanted, that’s what I needed. He, on the other hand, was running from monogamy. He’s never fought me on my stance of us being only friends. Yet, when I look in his eyes, he’s lying.
He wants me but he’s scared.
“What’s on your mind, Sunnie Mae?”
The Achilles to my stiletto heels made me simper and blush uncontrollably. My forever name that I’d answer to for him. “You like making my lips tingle and my knees weak from your lips. Why?”
His smirk had me biting my lip to stop myself from moaning out loud. His sex appeal was ricocheting off the charts. Stepping close until we were bare chest to tank top, his lips brushed against mine until I parted them and we shared a new first. My tongue meeting his tongue. A sweetness of romance that made all my years of watching sweet rom-coms worth it.
He kissed me breathless.
He kissed me until my stomach knotted.
He kissed me with pure passion and reassurance that the essence of my happiness sparkled in my misty eyes.
“Because I can.” One last peck and he left me there gasping and clinging onto thin air, trying to steady my feet and unfog my brain.
Ezekiel was the sweetest kind of trouble and I wanted all of him.
“Thank you all for being here today. I know the change in your lives hasn’t been easy and I promise not to keep you long.” Hank Monroe, a family friend and attorney, took in all five faces seated around the Oakwood conference table.
I understood today was the reading of my mom’s will, but it felt pointless because nothing given to me would bring her back. Leann could have all of her stuff if it was up to me. What I wanted and needed, Hank couldn’t provide that.
“Before we get started, there’s a video I’d like to share with you all from Violet.” Peering over the rim of his glasses, Hank’s eyes bounced from me, Sunnie, Leann, Jeremiah, and my dad. “I’d also like to set the record straight that she was in her right mind when said video was made.” His glare at my dad wasn’t hard to miss. Though they grew up as friends, things shifted once my mom got sick. It seemed like everyone around my parents witnessed his mistreatment but him.
A true fucking clown.
Hank hit play on the remote and the flat screen behind his desk turned on revealing my mom’s beautiful smiling face. It was hard to look at her. Hard to see her alive and jovial but not here in the flesh. I tried to stay seated but I couldn’t. Jeremiah and I both stood and walked aimlessly around the office.
“Hello, family. I know you miss me and this is hard, but I’m at peace. I’m not suffering anymore.” My heart hurt. Not my chest, my damn heart hurt. “I love you all so much, and I pray the pain turns into joy knowing that I spent the best years of my life with you.” Sniffles and low sobs echoed around the room. “To my husband of over fifty years, we had a ride, didn’t we, baby?” Dad nodded, tears falling down his face. “We were so young and in love. Our fair share of ups and downs but through it all we managed to not kill each other.” She giggled, wiping her eyes. “But I will say you broke my heart, Damien. Broke my heart to where I started to resent you the last fifteen years of our marriage.” Jeremiah and I gave each other a puzzled look.
Definitely surprised to hear her confess that.
“You treated me as if getting sick with cancer was my fault. Shame on you, Damien.” Riddled with guilt, Dad’s silent cries turned into loud sobs. Leann rolled her eyes, refusing to pass the tissue box over to him. No one had any sympathy for him. He made his bed and now he had to lay in it.
“Not only did you make it known that ‘in sickness and in health’ those vows were conditional during the worst time of my life, but you started to choose favorites with my boys. You stopped being Ezekiel’s father when he got injured as if he hit himself. His dream was destroyed, not yours. But again, your selfishness caused you to mistreat people as if their misfortune was intentional. It’s been hard to forgive you for that. Children disappoint their parents just as much as parents disappoint their kids. It’s part of the cycle of parenthood. Get some help before you’re left alone. Now, to my boys.” Her smile replaced her frown and once again my heart fucking hurt.
“Jeremiah and Ezekiel, I’m so happy God chose me to be your mother. I love you both with every fiber of my being. Regardless of what others have said or done, I’m proud of you. I’m so proud to call you my sons. Jeremiah, seeing you mature into the family man that you are makes my heart smile. I love the way you love Leann and your kids. I love the way you take care of your family and are happy in your career. Continue to break generational curses, son. Mama is so proud.”
With Leann rubbing his back, Jeremiah nodded his head with fresh tears running down his face. “Thank you, mama. I promise I’m going to continue to make you proud.”
“Ezekiel, my sweet baby boy.” Sunnie squeezed my hand, feeling me on the verge of an emotional breakdown. “God isn’t done with you, Ez. You have purpose and He’s going to use you in the best way possible. Always remember that you matter. That you were born for such a time as this. You aren’t a mistake. Yes, my passing is going to hurt, and probably for some time. But I know you, Ezekiel. You’re going to come out of this triumphant because you’re my son, and I love you. Always remember that. I love you all. In your hearts, I rest.” When the video cut off I wanted to yell and scream for Hank to turn it back on. To bring her back to me.
“Violet gave specific instructions for the rewarding of her will.” Clearing his throat, Hank pushed his glasses over his nose and began. “All jewelry will be split amongst Leann and her daughter and Ezekiel. Her coin collection totaling over five hundred thousand dollars will go to Jeremiah. Her family’s land in Alabama and Georgia has been transferred over to Ezekiel and Jeremiah in a living family trust. Lastly, her life insurance policy totaled one million and fifty thousand dollars. Fifty thousand will go to Damien and one million will go to Ezekiel. Are there questions?” No one had anything to say.
We signed the paperwork needed for Hank to transfer all of mom’s things to us, I gave my bank account information, and we left. Dad was the first out of the room. Not at all surprised. I’m just glad he didn’t show his ass. Outside of Hank’s office Jeremiah and I hugged for a long time. Crying and hugging. We parted ways and I got in the passenger seat feeling numb. I asked Sunnie to come because I needed her presence. Selfishly I’ve been clinging onto her. Sucking up as much of her essence as she allows me to.
“I’m going to take a minute to myself.” I tossed over my shoulder, heading for my bedroom.
“Let me know if you need anything.” Her soft voice spoke behind me.
The minute I stepped in the shower and the hot water hit my face, I broke down. Cried like a baby. My mom has always been a woman of intention, especially with money. Every dollar she spent served a purpose, so I knew her leaving me that amount of money was very intentional. She could’ve left it fully to my dad and had him split it, but she knew her husband. Knew that he would be spiteful and have contingencies. Trying to control me. Crazy part is I didn’t need the money. My mom knew I hit millionaire status a long time ago, but this was her way of giving me a clean start to live life differently.
The money I made now came from sex. She hated that. Hated that I gave myself away to so many women for money. Regardless of the fancy titles used in Hollywood, I was a sex worker. An adult entertainer. A fancy ass prostitute if you want to be honest. I got paid handsomely for having sex on camera with women I didn’t know. A male fucking prostitute.
She wanted me to dream bigger.
To walk in my purpose.
