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I stared into his eyes. Weak and pathetic. I’ve been trying to please him my entire life and he wasn’t even worth the sacrifice.
Releasing him, he fell to the ground coughing and wheezing. Looking around at all the watchful eyes, waiting for someone to come to his rescue, but no one did. Stumbling to his feet, my brother tried to help him, but he wanted to be a prideful ass. “Get the fuck off me!” He tried to tuck in his wrinkled shirt, walking out, cussing under his breath.
“Time to eat,” Leann announced, and everything went back to normal.
But it wasn’t normal.
Nothing about this day was normal.
First attending my mom’s funeral, being threatened by Khiver, fighting my dad, and now what?
“I apologize for my dad. Please don’t take his drunken words to heart.” Jeremiah apologized to Sunnie, who tried to keep a smile.
“It’s okay. Um, I’m going to make us some plates. There’s a car service outside ready to take us home. Wait for me, okay?” Her soft lips on my cheek gave me permission to finally exhale and breathe.
I needed to feel her close to me.
Bringing her into my chest, my arms secured her to me and my hands caressed her neck and back. My poor baby was trying to make sure I was okay, forgetting about herself. Putting my needs before hers, shaking body and all. It wasn’t long before our inhales and exhales aligned and we were in sync. Standing in the entryway of the ballroom embracing and soothing.
“I love you, Sunnie Mae.” God knows I did.
With every fiber in my body, she owned me.
“I love you too, Ezekiel.” Cupping my face in her hands, she rested her head against mine. “Go wait in the car for me, okay? I’ll be out shortly.” I didn’t want to let her go. Just a few more minutes, that’s all I needed.
“Don’t make me wait long.” A kiss to her lips and I was following her orders, ready to go home and get away from all the madness.
Like she promised, Sunnie came out with two plastic bags full of to-go containers. As mouth watering as it smelled, my appetite hadn’t shown up. To be honest, I’m kinda glad. The way my anxiety and emotional state had been all day, I knew the first morsel of food would have me throwing up.
“Come. Let me take care of you.” Sunnie placed the bags of food on the kitchen counter and walked me to my bedroom where she hit the remote to roll down my blackout curtains and lit a Palo Santo candle I had sitting on my dresser. “Relax for me.” A small nudge to my stomach, I laid back on our air mattress ready to rest my eyes.
A cup of lean and a few blunts sounded hella good right now.
Drink my pain away, numb my thoughts.
Only taking off her heels and duster coat, she undressed me until I stood naked before her. The atmosphere shifted, creating a mood of relaxation and reprieve. Her eyes wandered up my body, and a smile of contentment and appreciation curved her lips. “You’re such a beautiful man, Zeek.” Her cool lips to the middle of my chest caused chills to cover my body and my dick to jump. Inside the bathroom, she ran me a bath and left me to myself once I settled back in the jacuzzi-size tub. Lights were dimmed and soft jazz music filled the surrounding spaces.
In the privacy of my bathroom, I released. Broke down and cried, trying to compete and fill the tub with my tears of sorrow. Today was a fucking lot and tomorrow it would only get heavier. I needed my mom. I needed her to tell me that becoming a father wasn’t going to kill me or the kid. I needed her reassurance that God didn’t make a mistake and He chose me to be this kid’s father for a reason. I needed her to tell me how to navigate my love for Sunnie and shift our friendship into a deeper meaning.
I needed my fucking mom.
The month of May will forever be a month filled with a lot of pain. Starting with Hillary passing away at the beginning of the month. Then Zeek’s mom passed away days before Mother’s Day. Aleyah cut me out of her life. I was scared to ask what else could happen, but I dared not try to jinx myself. I don’t think I’ve gone a day without crying, a day without my eyes swollen and red. Outside of leaving for personal obligations centered on those deaths, I barely put on regular clothes and left the house. DoorDash and Uber Eats were making a killing off of my three-times-a-day ordering.
Life sucked.
“MaKenna called yesterday morning and canceled the shoot. She’s going to use her family for the new release instead, and she wanted me to make it very clear that her canceling wasn’t personal but of understanding. Are you okay with that?” Summer and I were having one of our weekly meetings.
Even though I haven’t done much of anything for my content creation platforms, I still had other businesses that were fully operational and running. I had monthly themed launches for my nail enhancement business that needed to be reviewed. Samples needed testing. Paychecks needed to be signed. Luckily, I was a hoarder of creating content. I had over eight months’ worth of content stored in my iCloud that my social media manager has been using. It worked out perfectly.
That was the only thing going right in my life.
“I have no choice but to be,” I answer flatly. “I get it. It’s the nature of the game. MaKenna has a business to run regardless of my misery. How are things on your end?”
Sighing, Summer stretched back on the lounge chair she was lying on and shrugged. “I’m coping. Life feels overwhelming. Breathing is a struggle and having a sound mind is nonexistent.” Whatever beach she was on, I heard the seagulls singing and waves crashing.
At the moment, I envied her.
She might not have the peace of mind she wanted, but at least constant sadness and depression did not surround her.
