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Maricia stands with her mouth open and a look on her face like I might have gut-punched her hard enough to knock all the air out of her lungs. Kat comes up beside me and starts looking at Maricia too.
“I see it. Damn, when you put it like that it’s just sad. All the times she tries to start shit, she’s really crying out for help. Wow. Makes her a lot more... pathetic somehow.”
“I am not pathetic. You all are pathetic. I don’t have to put up with this. If you want to go fuck the whole team, be my guest. But once your brother finds out about you and Spade, is he going to be as okay with it? All of you can get fucked! I don’t care!”
In a huff, she storms off leaving everyone behind in a heavy silence.
“Well, I’m hungry. Anyone else starved or is it just me?” Spade breaks the tension that comes with Maricia’s exit.
It's Kat who answers him, “Yeah, I could eat. What do you think about Chinese? Anyone else want Chinese?”
I follow Whit, Kat, and Spade but Maricia’s words echo in my head. For more reasons than she can know. What is Roman going to think if he found out I was kissing his friend? On top of everything else I’ve been charged to keep from him, it kind of feels like one knife twist too many.
I know what Spade said about just being really good friends and wanting to offer me comfort but…maybe we shouldn’t be doing it? Not that he’s done any of it today. He’s acted like maybe he really did just look at it as comforting a friend. So, maybe I’m making too much of it. If Spade doesn’t think of it as anything other than that, then why would I? Shouldn’t I just continue on my way and not make more out of it than what it is?
Looking over at him now giving me a lopsided grin, I definitely think I have made too much out of what happened between us. I should try to be cool, not let him, or anyone else, know how much his form of ‘comforting’ meant to me.
Chapter Twelve
Pearl
“That’s a long time to be gone, Roman.” I’m frowning even though he can’t see my face. “Are you sure Spade is going to be alright with that? It’s just, you said it was only for a few days and it’s already been a week. Maybe I should go back to your apartment and stay there some. He could check up on me to see if I needed anything.”
“With everything going on, I would rather you just stay with Spade, sweetie.”
Damn.
It’s not that I don’t love staying with Spade because I do. But I also don’t want to wear out my welcome. Surely the man has other things he wants to do than sit around with me all evening watching movies and talking to one another. He’s an attractive man, even if he’s going through a slump right now eventually he’s going to want to bring someone home. And even though Maricia said it spitefully, she wasn’t wrong. He can’t possibly do that with me underfoot.
“I’ve already talked to him about it. He says he’s more than happy to let you stay.”
Bet he didn’t say anything about comforting me the way he did when they talked.
“Alright, as long as I’m not overstaying my welcome I guess I’m okay with it. Even though you already know I think this is stupid. I can take care of myself.”
“I know you can. And I also understand you are only doing this so I don’t worry about you. I love you.”
“Love you too.”
By the time I say the words I have walked into the living room to find Spade sitting on the couch. His frown says something entirely different from what he is telling my brother.
“Wh…?”
“Who are you talking to?”
Oh shit, he might be upset because he thought I was talking to him. “Roman.”
He noticeably relaxes and gives me a smile, “Oh. I forgot he was going to call you to tell you he might be coming back later than he thought he would.”
Wow, he got really mad when he thought I told him I loved him. It was like the difference between day and night when he figured out I was just saying it to my brother. I sit and think about that. I shouldn’t be hurt by the fact he might be upset that some stranger in his house professes love to him, but I kind of am. Upset about it being such a big deal. Shouldn’t a person want to hear someone say those words even if they are confused and backward about it?
I don’t think I would have the same reaction if he said he loved me. But maybe I would if… I didn’t like him at all. I jump up and all but run for the bedroom.
“Hey, you alright?”
“Yeah, I just…realized I forgot something in my room.”
I start walking before I can even gauge his reaction to what I said. What the hell? If he doesn’t like me at all, why would he let me stay here? Unless, he is just that nice of a person. Which could very well be the case from the little I know of Spade. He would be the type of person to do anything for his friend…even put up with his annoying, cock-blocking kid sister.
