AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“No,” he said with certainty. “But that might explain your problem.”
I flicked his shoulder vengefully and returned to my work. “Maybe you’re right. It should be somewhere in the middle, right? Not only in your head or only in your heart.”
“Right in the middle. In your chin.”
I chuckled as I dragged the brush down the nail of his middle finger, ignoring the bits of paint on his cuticles. “The chin is pretty good at pointing you in different directions, sticking itself out when you’re feeling strong or tucking itself in when you’re hurt.”
“Exactly. It should be in the middle of the head and heart, able to demonstrate both strength and vulnerability.”
“Oh, Jonah, what a scholar you are.”
“I am a songwriter, you know.”
I grinned as I finished up on the final pinky. They just looked awful, his nails, but it was nice of him to let me try. He always did. I wanted to move on and play with his hair like I used to, but he’d become so adult-looking I was ashamed to ask.
Physically, he really did look like he was doing better. Perhaps it had something to do with age or fame. When I placed the nail polish back down on his nightstand, I found the most likely culprit. A bent white box with an aluminum sheet full of pills hanging out of it sat under the lamp. I snatched the flimsy cardboard and began reading it.
“How are these going for you after all?” I asked. “Are you still going to therapy?”
“Hardly.” I frowned at his answer. “We’ve had a lot of work lately. I like to keep my free time to myself. And, actually, I’m going off these.” He reached one set of terribly painted fingers to ease the box from my hands and threw it the same way as the old condom.
I perked up immediately. “Did you talk to your doctor? You shouldn’t do that, Jo. And you drink alcohol, you know. I hope you stopped drinking while you’ve been on those. When did you decide to stop taking them? And why? Are you oka—?”
“Hey, Kai,” he said calmly. “I’m going to throw you out the window if you don’t stop.” Humph. “I decided to stop when… When you told us you were coming home.”
I shook my head in response. That was far from okay and he knew it, which was even worse because it meant he was consciously being an idiot.
“I’m slowly lowering the dosage. Just to try. I have a personal deadline to reassess if I need to. They have some side effects I’m not crazy about, and I knew I’d have you here as support if I needed it.” He shrugged, and if sad little puppies could shrug, they’d look exactly as Jonah did right now.
I rolled my eyes in surrender and crossed my arms. “Jo, I’m… I’ve worried about you a lot these last few years. So much. I need—we need—to know that you’re okay. And I just don’t think making these changes willy-nilly is such a good idea. You still don’t leave the house unless you have to. You still call me at night when you’re having a hard time.”
“When will you accept that isolation and negativity are simply parts of my personality?” he asked lazily, dropping his head to one side. Exhausted apathy took the place of his innocent longing.
My shoulders dropped. “Jojo, you deserve to enjoy all that you’ve built.”
He blew out a breath. “I’m taking it one day at a time, Kai. You’ll be here with me. Will you take it one day at a time with me?”
I picked at my nails, nodding affirmatively. I knew he couldn’t snap his fingers and be one hundred percent better, and I knew prying him open wasn’t really going to change anything either. So, yes, I would. I’d walk alongside him straight into oblivion if only to make sure he was all right.
“Thank you,” he whispered.
There was a beat of silence as I allowed myself to ponder, to accept that Jonah was in control of his own mind whether I worried about him or not.
“You wouldn’t really throw me out the window,” I finally muttered.
“Well, you are asking for it.” He leaned forward, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me right over himself so that I sat next to him on the wall side of the bed.
“Careful with those fingers, Jo! They’re wet and I worked very hard on them.”
“I’m more concerned about ruining my sheets than your hard work.”
I gaped at him. He had the most annoying grin on his face. “Don’t tease me.”
“Why? Do you like it?”
I gasped. This asshole learned to bite back while I was gone. “Jonah! Who the hell are you?”
“I’m Shakira in that one music video.” He held up his fingers in front of himself and looked at them with a smile. “The one where she’s covered in black paint.”
