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A lazy, unanimous “Yes, Kai” sounded about the car.
An unnecessarily long car ride later, we arrived at one of the few places to get food at this hour. We shoved through a handful of drunken patrons who made our journey to an empty table twice as difficult as it needed to be, and I did my best to focus on ordering while blocking out their chatter and cheer.
The majority of my life was spent much too close to the busier parts of town, and I can’t lie, it wasn’t my favorite. I was supposed to have options in this city, the ability to live in a neighborhood that suited my style. Instead, I found myself mixed up with bustling street corners and music industry assholes. Honestly, I should’ve expected it. But still, part of me hoped that once we really started making money, I’d earn some privacy.
Wishful thinking.
As if I could really earn any privacy along with touring, and being noticed, and being forced onto radio shows, and networking, and events, and—
Our waitress set our plates down, cutting my line of thought. Thankfully.
Sweet Kai sat across from me behind a stack of pancakes so high they practically reached her collar. She looked so fucking precious, staring at them with wide eyes, swallowed whole by my gray sweatshirt. Her ears poked out between the pieces of hair hanging from her messy ponytail, and the stress boiling in my chest calmed back down to a simmer. I’d suffer a zillion exhausting radio shows if only she sat near me just like this.
She was thinner than before, yet somehow curvier. She’d taken to the gym to, as she put it, get out her rage in one fell swoop. Apparently, there’s no better outlet for it than heavy weights and heavier music, and she preferred to take it out that way than on other people.
I could only imagine how hard it must’ve been dealing with that asshole, Javi. Personally, I thought she should’ve stood up for herself directly instead of swallowing it until she could get to a gym. She should’ve yelled right in his face so he could see the consequences of his own actions. But Kai was never very good at confronting those who treated her poorly. I always hoped she’d learn how to be. It was understandable when we were kids, but we were adults now, and she deserved to get to know herself—to demand the space to get to know herself—because she truly was a cool person.
Kai looked around at the rest of us, keeping her hands pinned to her lap. It wasn’t until Oli and June began eating that she picked up her fork. Before making her next move, she looked at me. I rolled my eyes and picked up mine as well. She smiled as her utensil sank into the stack. I allowed mine to do the same.
After a few bites, Oli reached across the table to the bowl of creamer cups, grabbing two in his giant hand.
“Think you can do just one with me, little sis?” he asked, looking at Kai as if he were a kid who’d gotten into the snack cabinet.
I elbowed his arm. Not only would they finish the entire bowl, but probably the one on the table next to us as well.
“It’s just one.” He shrugged his big shoulders at me.
“Jojo is just upset because, behind his tormented facade, he wishes he was fun like us,” Kai teased.
She wasn’t wrong. Kai and Oli had a goofy, childish friendship that put mine and Kai’s to shame. And to no fault of her own. I was a stickler, immature in all the wrong ways. They were true brother and sister, each of them only children and clinging to each other because of it. Not that I, myself, was exactly surrounded by sibling love.
My own older sister moved to Canada and only checked in every couple of months, but I promised her I’d make sure we tour in Toronto as often as possible once things really kick off so I can see her. She kept as far away from the family as she could ever since a few orthodox uncles shut her out after her transition. I couldn’t blame her. They were assholes. They deemed her entire existence a shanda as if she wasn’t the strongest, most caring one of us. Anyway, we did grow up together, which is something Kai and Oli missed out on, so I did my best not to feel left out.
“Aw, Jojo!” Oli whined in a voice that was an entire octave higher than his own.
“Hey!” Kai grabbed a third creamer cup and tossed it at him. It bounced off his giant chest like a fly hitting a window. “Only I get to call him that!” She caught the cup that flew back at her in revenge.
“Oli’s just jealous because he never got a nickname,” June said.
“Oli is his nickname,” Kai explained, leaning into June and flicking her hand across the table at Oli and me. “I can’t shorten that anymore. What are we supposed to call them? Jojo and O-O?”
“Noah could be No-No,” June said with a giggle.
“Oh, speaking of…” Kai switched gears and sat up straight. “I want to meet this elusive Noah character.”
“He’s in Vermont this week with Tiff,” I said.
Kai groaned. “It’s absolutely not fair that I’ve never met the third person in your band.” She turned back to June and pouted. “And his girlfriend! I always see you two hanging out. I’m so left out.”
“Well, then, you shouldn’t have moved to Spain,” Oli said impatiently, holding a creamer cup up in front of himself. I agreed. Kai stuck out her tongue and held hers up as well. They both peeled back the tops halfway, taking careful care not to spill any. Simultaneously, my two friends put the cups between their lips, swallowed, and sucked until the plastic cracked.
I watched Kai as she placed it to the side of her plate and went back to her pancakes.
“Jojo, how’s Caroline? I want to meet her too. You hardly mention her lately.” She cleaned a triangle off her fork with a smooth slide of her lips, staring at me sweetly as I choked on the sip of water I was taking. Oli and June immediately put their heads down, and I made an effort to place my cup on the table instead of slamming it.
“We aren’t dating anymore, Kai.” The hard booth beneath me suddenly sent a shooting pain up my spine. Nausea balled in my stomach, floating up to my chest.
“What?” She chuckled softly like she thought I was kidding, but the expression faded from her face as she looked at our friends. Oli and June simply continued eating nervously, producing no reaction to the news I just delivered. Her eyes snapped back to me. “Jonah Asher Alexander. Am I the only one you didn’t tell?”
