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CHAPTER 11
LEXIE
"Your lapse in judgement in bringing that woman here, suggests otherwise."
I stopped a handful of metres away, close enough to hear the tail end of the conversation. I wasn't sure what I missed, but I was there in time to hear Gabe's mother threaten to stop him from becoming CEO of his father's company, just for bringing me to this party.
What the absolute, everloving fuck? The expression on his face as he watched her walk away made my heart hurt.
I wanted to confront her and tell her what she said was not okay. It wasn't even close. I wasn't given to violence, but I wanted to slap the expression off her face. That wouldn't hurt anyone and would likely end up with me on an assault charge, so I had to be content with digging my fingernails into my palms until I got the burst of anger under control.
I wanted to comfort Gabe, who stood in the middle of the party, eyes on her back, looking completely lost.
Confronting her would only make things worse, and comforting him might help her to make up her mind. Seeing us together, she might really decide to stop him from stepping into the role he'd worked so hard for so long. We barely knew each other. I certainly couldn't ask him to give up everything for me.
I was conflicted as hell, but in the end, the best thing I could do was to not get in the middle of them.
Before Gabe could see me, I slipped away through the crowds and out the door.
What are you doing? I asked myself. I cared about him, but he couldn't lose everything because of me. Causing trouble for him with his family and with his company would end up with him resenting me. Maybe hating me. I couldn't let that happen. After all, we barely knew each other. What had we shared? A few hours painting and talking. A cup of tea. An orgasm. A very good one, granted, but a relationship couldn't be built on orgasms alone. Neither of us declared our feelings for each other. All we had was physical attraction. Right?
I had no choice now but to walk away, for his sake. And for mine. When things ended badly, they'd be messy. Potentially detrimental to my business. No, it was better if we never saw each other again. Even if that meant he didn't renew the contract after all. We had other customers. We'd get by.
I trotted out to the street and called for the limo to come and pick me up. The driver could take me home, then come back for Gabe. Right now, all I wanted to do was get home, take off this dress and shoes, and crawl into my pyjamas. I might stay like that for a week. Order in some ice cream and a bottle of tequila, and watch movies for a while.
It wasn't until a tear dripped off my cheek that I realised they'd been sliding down for the last couple of minutes.
I could hardly believe what Irena said. That she’d actually threaten to take away everything Gabe worked for, just because of me. Was I that terrible a person that she wanted me away from him? Did she really think he deserved to have that happen?
No, he didn't, but maybe I did. I hadn't made things easy for him with her.
I could have kept my mouth shut better around her. I could have pretended to be someone I wasn't, but that wasn't me. I wouldn’t apologise for being outspoken, but I wasn't going to let that ruin his life. If I was too much, then it was better to walk away now.
The limo pulled up in front of me. I climbed inside.
"Take me home, please," I said simply. I reached up and started to pull the pins out of my hair. One by one, until I had a handful of them, and the only thing holding my hair up was a mountain of hairspray. I tried to comb it out with my fingers, but it was stubbornly stuck half up, half down. I must look like an absolute wreck.
"You okay, Lex?" the driver said over his shoulder.
"Yeah, just a long night," I said.
"You get to meet Tyler Quick?" He smiled at me in the rearview mirror.
"What? No. I don't think she made it." I wasn't sure I would have noticed anyway. My eyes were all on Gabe. I couldn't remember half of the people he'd introduced me to, I was just happy to be there with him. What was he going to think when he realised I'd left?
He was a pragmatic guy, he'd probably be grateful I spared him from having to end it with me, or take me home. That whole situation would have been awkward for all involved. A clean break was better for everyone. Wasn't it?
It didn't feel better. I felt as though I'd stabbed myself in the heart. I hadn't realised how deep my feelings for him ran, until now. Deeper than I thought. Deeper than they should be. I didn't know when it happened, but I'd fallen for him. Fallen hard.
"That's a bummer," the driver said.
"Yeah, it is," I said before I realised he was talking about the popstar not being at the party. "I guess she was too busy. People that famous always have way too much to do. Better things to do than spend time with people like me." I was talking about Gabe, not her but the driver didn't seem to notice.
"Anyone who has better things to do than spend time with you and me doesn't know what they're missing," he said. "We're pretty fucking awesome after all."
"Yeah, I guess so," I said.
He must have sensed I didn't want to talk about it any further, because he leaned forward and turned up the volume on the radio. I recognised the sound of one of Zen Dung Beetles’ songs.
