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“Okay, I’ll admit you have a point,” she conceded once she had swallowed. “However, it’s only fair that you try mine, too. I must open your eyes to the wonders of pistachio ice cream.”
“Fine, but I warn you, I’m not going to like it.”
Emma took the spoon of ice cream Vivian offered, grimacing as it melted in her mouth. “Ugh. I hate pistachios.”
“I’m dating a weirdo,” Vivian teased.
Emma had already explained to Lily that she and Vivian were dating. Lily had been ecstatic. Emma had wondered if Lily would be upset that she was dating again. However, she had carefully explained that Vivian would in no way be replacing Alison, and that Vivian knew that as well. Lily was fully on board. Lily had no real memories of Alison as she had been too young when she died. It had been so very painful for Emma and she wondered how she had gotten through the years and brought up Lily too. But, she was a positive person and she chose to focus on the joy that she had had with Alison and the wonderful person that Alison had been. Although what had happened was undoubtedly tragic, Emma always spoke positively about Lily’s other mom and showed her photos and told her stories and sometimes it felt as though Alison was still there with them. Even though she wasn’t.
Lily was entirely focused on her ice cream, only looking up once she had finished it. “Vivian, can I come and work shadow you, please? Mom said we could talk about it today.”
“Your mom has already talked to me about it, and I’d be happy to have you job shadow me, Lily.”
It was a good thing Lily’s ice cream was already finished, or it would have caused much more of a mess than it did when Lily upended it as she leaped up and ran around the table to hug Vivian.
Emma watched them, her face hurting from how hard she was smiling.
She thought that this was going to work out just fine.
8
Vivian
Vivian sighed happily as she rolled over in bed, pressing her chest up against Emma’s back. Emma had scoffed when Vivian had suggested putting soundproof panels in her room, but Emma had quickly been converted by the idea of being able to be as loud as they wanted when Vivian stayed over at her place.
The last few weeks had been like something out of someone else’s life—or something out of Vivian’s wildest fantasies, the ones she never really acknowledged, even to herself.
Dating Emma was… incredible. Not only was the sex life changing, but Vivian was quickly coming to love spending time with Emma more than anything else. Lily loved having Vivian around, and the three of them went on frequent outings on weekends.
“We should go to sleep,” Vivian murmured.
“Already there,” Emma mumbled, her hand searching until it found Vivian’s. “’Night, Vivian. I love you.”
Vivian stiffened. She felt Emma stiffen against her as she realized what she’d said.
Emma quickly turned around in Vivian’s arms, her eyes wide and worried. “You don’t have to say it back, Vivian. I’m not going to take it back, because that would be a lie, but I don’t want you to feel any pressure to—”
“I have to go.”
“Vivian, please—let’s talk about this.”
Vivian was already getting out of bed. She felt like the walls were closing in on her. She wanted to run, but where could she go when the walls were those of her own mind?
“I’ll see you at work tomorrow, Emma.” She couldn’t run from her mind, but she could certainly run from the situation.
“No—wait, Vivian—”
Vivian was already dressed. She didn’t immediately see her shoes and decided to abandon them. She all but ran from the house.
Vivian’s heart was beating so fast that she wondered if she was having a heart attack or a panic attack. She stopped the car two blocks away from Emma’s house, trying to even her breathing.
It’s okay, everything is okay, she told herself.
It was a lie, though. Everything was not okay and she knew it. If it had been what Emma thought, then it probably wouldn’t be a problem. If Vivian hadn’t wanted to say it back, she would simply have accepted Emma’s reassurance that she didn’t need to and gone to sleep.
The problem was that she did want to say it back, and that scared her.
What the hell had Vivian gotten herself into? She didn’t know what she had thought would happen when she’d agreed to start dating Emma. She couldn’t recall right now the reasoning that had gotten her to this point.
