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“Hmm,” Joq thought about Chris. His mum was right, he was all that, and he was kind but he didn’t want too many people to know that, and he was an exceptional partner. Joq did not miss the way he carved out their time and wouldn’t let it be disturbed for the world. But none of that was why he loved him. He loved him because he was the best guy Joq had ever met and when he was with him, he felt like he was the best version of himself. He trusted himself again.
“I’m such a fool,” he said again.
“Hmm,” his mum sipped her tea. “I know, your father knows, your friends from work know and I’m pretty sure Chris’ lawyer friend knows and wants to kill you. The point is, what are you going to do about it?”
“Apologise?”
“Two days,” she shook her head again. “It’s got to be your father’s fault.”
Joq laughed and she smiled at him, the sunlight catching her in a glow, the decades doing nothing to diminish her beauty.
He picked up his tea.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Drinking my tea?”
She huffed. “Get out of here and go and apologise.”
Joq laughed. “Alright, alright,” he set the tea down, leaned down to kiss her cheek. “Thanks, mum.”
“Anytime. Now go on then, enough affection.”
Joq left, feeling, well, not confident, but at least sure in his decision.
Chris wasn’t in his office.
“Where is he?” he asked Terry.
She sat back and rocked in her chair, eyes narrowed. “He’s busy. Somewhere else.”
“Okay,” Joq said slowly. He’d rather not wait. Now he’d decided to do this, he needed to do it now. “I think he’ll want to see me.”
“I don’t,” she replied.
Joq studied her. Chris never gave the impression they were particularly close, but Joq got the feeling she was well taken care of and was very fond of Chris as a result. Plus, whenever Joq heard him talking to her, it was direct, professional, but always respectful. They seemed like a handy team. Of course she was protecting her boss.
“Look, I just need to apologise, so if you can tell me where he is, I can go do that.”
“Seems like the time to do that was after you left him high and dry,” she retorted.
Before Joq could defend himself against yet another disgusted woman, she shook her head at him in revulsion and told him Chris was at a board meeting. Joq knew the building.
“I’m telling you because he said I always had to tell you, remember? And he hasn’t rescinded that. Yet,” she said heavily. “He should. In the meantime, you can wait in the lobby down there.”
“Thank you,” he walked off. He wasn’t waiting in the lobby, he needed to do this now.
The board were convened in one of those glass meeting rooms so when the elevator doors opened, Joq could see the entire table of them, a series of suits. He was looking for one suit.
Chris was at one of the end of the table, one leg cocked across his other as he leaned back and listened to what someone else was saying. His hair was longer than when they first met, and it hung now in a mess of shaggy curls. As Joq watched, Chris ran a hand over his face, rubbed his mouth and seemed to sigh heavily.
Joq wasn’t sure what the etiquette was here—pop his head in and say, ‘Hi, I need to talk to you,’—but he got his feet moving and approached.
Chris glanced his way, looking tired, but he roused himself when he recognised Joq.
Joq took a deep breath and kept moving.
“You can’t go in there,” a woman’s voice said from his left.
