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Unexpectedly, the door opens up as my knocking bouts are about to continue.
Her face appears swollen, and I felt my heart pierce at the thought of her crying because of everything I had said to her earlier.
Her eyes were pitch red like the ‘Miss Kitten’ sweater she was wearing, and like the silver glitters on it, her eyes still glimmered with tears.
“I’m so sorry, Lea. Please, forgive me.”
Her eyes held so many unsaid words; I could only hope she would not bottle them in and shut me out again.
I’m unsure if I can handle her shutting me out another day. It’s truly a wonder how I’ve stayed sane these past few weeks.
Chapter Nineteen
Lea
My ears could not believe what Damien was saying.
Damien knew how close I was to my parents. They were like my best friends, considering me not having that many friends around me.
He knew how much it would mean for me to protect their legacy and what they labored for while they were alive. Finally, we could reclaim the properties the government had seized for years.
This had been a struggle my parents had undergone before their death, and the least my brother and I could do was to succeed in fulfilling their desires.
Beyond their estate, did he think my feelings for him were based on the material things and connections he could offer me? I had applied to Selware and wanted the job even before I knew he was the CEO.
How could he downplay things that are most important to me?
No words could fully characterize the pain I felt from the things he said to me. If he was truly looking out for my interest, this was the worst way to go about it.
Sadly, I had not brought my car to work today. On the one hand, it was a good thing because I could not imagine driving in this state with blurry eyes and a racing heart.
On the other hand, I had to stand right in front of the office building to hail a cab as my tears rolled down profusely, and passers-by could not help but turn their heads to the sounds I was making.
Finally, a bright yellow cab stops right in front of me. My mouth trembled insistently to form actual words of my destination, so I just unlocked the back passenger door to get in.
Before I do so, my eyes dart behind my shoulders to see if he came down after me.
They only met with the eyes of the security guard, wondering why I was staring at him with my wet eyes and trembling lips.
“Please, drive off.”
“Where, ma’am?”
“Anywhere but here, please,” I said in between sobs.
It was true what they say that the ones that you love most hurt you the most.
If Damien and I had no strings attached between us, this wouldn’t hurt this much.
Come to think of it, I was not only crying because of what he said but because of the pent-up emotions from all the distance I had to give him in the name of trying to save our friendship from a brutal end.
What was I thinking, believing I could stop loving him by avoiding him?
These past weeks have been excruciatingly traumatizing for me, and I have cried myself to sleep almost every other day.
It was difficult to watch him come to work every day and avoid his stares that questioned the basis for my decision to keep my distance, which he didn’t even know at that point.
I hate the unpredictability of life. I hate that life is unpredictable and anything could happen at any time.
