AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Apologies, sir. I did my best to keep them at bay. I figured you might want some time alone with Her Majesty.”
“You did your best. I appreciate it.”
We continued down the hall. I shook my head.
“What is it?” Martin asked.
“I’m so guilty! She’s so good and sees me as good. But this scheme with the press? My lies about why I agreed to the engagement and how we engineered it? She still doesn’t know. She must never know, you understand?”
Martin nodded. “Sir, I think she would understand, but I gather some things are best left hidden. I see how much you enjoy your time with her. I know it is genuine. You shouldn’t feel guilty about that.”
“I am doing the best I can to make a life for us—but also to save the family. It’s selfish. I hate lying to her. It never bothered me at the start, but now…”
Now I knew what was going on. My feelings for her grew stronger by the day. Alexandra was now my greatest confidante andchampion. I worried if she thought this was all put on, she’d never forgive me. Yet, telling her risked her not understanding how much I adored her and wanted her. I couldn’t tell her. Lying seemed more compassionate now.
“Now, you just want to make her happy,” Martin said. “It is good. I wish you both much happiness.”
Twenty-Seven
Alexandra
Blavenberg was a cosmopolitan city with progressive ideas. Women sunbathed topless and no one said boo. People left their babies in prams outside of coffee shops unattended. Fathers often played a role as primary parents, hauling two or three little ones through the street. It was charming but different.
The language I only half got—grateful to speak a bit thanks to Mum and her past. Their dialect differed from what I knew, but it slowly came back. My language skills proved enough to make medangerousbut not a lot more.
Marie spoke shaky English and while I understood much of her mother tongue, I spoke little. Rick pointed out she tried to bridge a gap. Mikkel complicated it by admonishing her as she struggled to find the right words. The guilt churned my stomach. I always spoke kindly as she tried. I appreciated the effort, but neither of us knew the words to communicate effectively. I was even more out-of-sorts.
The staff at the palace were lovely as ever but I was a fish out of water. The customs differed. Celeste called ahead to make sure Rick and I would not spend a single night alone, which to some degree, made me expect we wouldn’t.
At the same time, I wanted to. Thankfully, I packed books. I was devouring a series written by one of Asti’s favourite authors. I hated to admit how much I lived for the moment one of the people fell. And, sadly, I was began to relate to those poor tortured souls waiting for the other to turn around and say I love you back.
The books were a distraction on my lonely evenings after Rick left. When his parents withdrew, his brother and sister returned to their apartments. It was so eerie to be so alone. I wanted to cuddle with my sister. And while I’d like to say the same about Rick, there were other problems.
I wanted him. Well, I wanted him but for what I wasn’t sure. Rick was glorious, dashing, and made me feel things in places I never felt them—things I realised were normal the more romance novels I consumed. The wetness that appeared between my legs after we spent ages kissing was easily explained.
It was a version ofarousal,a word I didn’t yet understand. The more time we spent, the more I wantedsomething. I wanted to feel what the heroines in my stories described almost as rocketing to heaven. I wanted the clouds to part, the sun to rise, and fireworks to explode. I wasn’t sure how to get there, but I craved it.
I suspected Rick wanted the same after his reaction to the sleeping arrangement snafu. He brought it up every day we were in Lundhavn. Such was the case one morning when he climbed into the car with me to depart on a royal engagement at the National Museum before flying back to Neandia.
“How were you?” Rick asked. “Bored to tears?”
“I tried to speak to Marie, but Mikkel kept interrupting—even worse than when you were there. I’d like us to be friends, but he seems hell-bent on ruining it.”
“I wish I were there.” Rick squeezed my hand. “I’d tell him to calm down. My brother is awful at socialising.”
“I thought I was bad.”
“You have been clever and charming. Disarming. He is mostly antisocial. Mamma always does the heavy lifting with Pappa, but he lets her do that. He acknowledges her social suitability. Mikkel ignores all else. He is insufferable!”
“You two don’t get on?”
“We aren’t like the Deschamps girls, no. I am jealous of the way the four of you connect. It’s nice.”
I nodded.
“I missed you, though,” Rick said, voice sweet.
I wished he would kiss me now, but we were arriving at the engagement.
