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“She was tired all the time.” Absently, Tanner nodded. “But that’s to be expected, I guess.”
Grams carried Benjamin up to the nursery. And after the coroner came and went, and everyone else had gone home, he and his brother returned to Arien.
A curse was upon them.
That’s what his father always said. But then how else could he rationalize two dead wives? Fucking Christ. Three. Hell, he couldn’t come up with a plausible explanation either. Kellan had to keep his wits about him. As much as he had to keep them all together. Because one thing was certain, something wasn’t right here.
It took five days for Jennifer’s body to be returned to them, and another two days to organize the funeral. In all that time, his father barely spoke. He’d go out to the barn or his office on autopilot, only to shut himself off upstairs at the end of the day. Grams and Aunt Kim took over the running of the house. Fending off well-meaning neighbors. Someone always seemed to be knocking at the door with a covered dish or donated breastmilk for the baby.
And Arien?
Kellan was worried about her. Tanner too. One minute she’d be sobbing and the next it was as if nothing registered at all. Only two things snapped her out of it. Her horse and Benjamin.
When Arien wasn’t fussing over their brother, he’d be sure to find her with Daisy. Rubbing her down, braiding her mane, taking her out for a long ride. One afternoon, he even found her weaving crowns of wildflowers for the dang cows while the palomino grazed on the grass at her side. Kellan understood, though.
A horse can heal even the most broken soul.
While he and Tanner would mend her broken heart.
Looking out the window, Kellan tightened his tie. Emily, Jake, and Billy were here. Outside of his uncles, Grandpa Paul, and Grandpa Garrett, he didn’t know much about grieving, and he was just a kid at the time. Grams and Aunt Kim were more than well-acquainted with it, though, and they assured him after today, the healing could begin.
Arien was already downstairs when he got there. With the baby to her shoulder, his father looking on, she patted his back, coaxing a burp from him. Kellan couldn’t help but smile. She’d make a good mother one day.
And with the immediate family all here, they loaded into their vehicles and made their way to the cemetery.
Birth, life, and death are all part of an endless cycle. They considered the natural world to be sacred, and disregarded morbid practices that were commonplace elsewhere. Jennifer’s unembalmed body lay inside a closed wooden casket of pine. For them, the purpose of a funeral was to honor her life, pay their respects, and return her to the earth.
The townsfolk were already assembled at the gravesite. Heads turning toward them, Kellan assisted Arien from the dually, and she froze.
“I can’t do this.” Hyperventilating, she grabbed onto his forearm with both hands. “Take me home.”
“Baby.” Stepping in front of her, his body shielded her from the onlookers.
Her blonde hair blowing in the mild June breeze, Tanner tucked it behind her ear. “We got you, pretty girl.”
“No.” Closing her eyes, she shook her head. “You don’t understand. As long as I don’t see my mom lying in a box, it isn’t real.”
“Arien, look at me.” Kellan gently lifted her chin. “You don’t have to look, but you need to say goodbye.”
Tears erupting, she squeaked, “It’s always been me and her. I don’t even know how to exist now.”
“You keep on doin’ what you’re doin’, baby,” he replied, kissing her forehead. “Your mama was so damn proud of you.”
Swiping beneath her eyes, Arien nodded. “Look at us all…without a mother…” And the tears welled up again. “…I keep thinking how our baby brother will never know her.”
“Yes, he will.” And he pulled her against his chest. “He has you.”
Arien laid the baby down in the cradle the boys had given her mother. Opening a book, she rocked him with her foot, determined to take in the beauty of an all-too-short summer. She lived for days like this. With the sun shining, not a single cloud in the bright azure sky, a soft July breeze fanning over her skin.
Five minutes in, after trying to read the same paragraph a dozen times, she gave up. Usually an escape for her, Arien found it difficult to focus these days. Her head kept spinning in a series of directions, trying to take her where she didn’t want to go. Missing her mom just hurt so much. She tried not to think about it. Tanner and Kellan did their best to distract her. Didn’t work, though.
Glancing down at her brother, she smiled at him. Dark curls like his daddy—and Tanner. Blue eyes like their mother. Arien wondered if they’d stay that way. She’d read a baby’s eyes often change color. “I love you, lucky charm.”
Even though he hadn’t brought any, they were lucky to have him. What if whatever killed her mom had happened before he was born? Or before she met Matthew? She’d be all alone in Denver. Waiting tables in a dumpy, ole diner, most likely. Arien shuddered to think of it.
See? Her thoughts were all over the place.
They didn’t know how or why Jennifer died.
