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“That makes me sad for you, Bren, but it’s in the cards for me.” Jesse looked at Brendan with every bit of sincerity he could muster. “It’s what I want—and I want it with Taylor and Chloe.”
“I hope you get it, brother, but you have to choose. You can’t be a coward and be in love.” Brendan looked down at his lap and then cast his gaze out over the water. “I love you, Jess. I wish only good things for you…and for what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”
They laid together, sides touching, on the party float watching the fireworks. His cousins and Linnea were watching from the deck, so Jesse and Chloe were out on the water alone. Any other time it would have been relaxing, romantic even, to bob with the fluid motion of the lake and gaze up at the night sky, but tonight his heart was racing as they waited for the display to begin.
Chloe reached for his hand and interlaced their fingers. Jesse put his arm around her and drew her closer to him. His head rested against hers and he breathed in the coconut scent of her freshly washed hair. He knew there would never be a perfect moment for this, so as the first crackle lit the sky he squeezed her hand, took a nervous breath, and prayed the words from his heart were words she would understand.
“Chloe.”
She glanced up at him and smiled so goddamn beautifully that the thought this could all go horribly wrong paralyzed him.
What’s meant for you won’t pass by you.
He lightly stroked her cheek and kissed her coconut hair. “I…I have real feelings for you, Chloe.”
Jesse pulled her up higher so he could look right into her eyes when he said the words and hoped she would see inside his and know he meant every last one of them.
“I’ve fallen in love with you.” He squeezed his eyes shut and quickly opened them again. “God, I’m so in love with you, Riosin.”
Chloe was wiping at the corners of his eyes as his lips touched hers. Jesse held her tight and kissed her soft and sweet, caressing her tongue with his own. He didn’t want the kiss to end because…what if it was the last? What if he was wrong and she rejected him? He held her tighter and kissed her harder, touching every inch of her skin he could reach, until she pulled away.
“I love you too, Jesse, so much!”
She was crying. He kissed the tears from her eyes and licked the saline from his lips. Happy tears. He hoped so anyway. Then he just held her. He held her for what felt like a long time while the fireworks exploded overhead and steeled himself to tell her the rest.
Jesse nuzzled his face in his favorite part of her and kissed the skin below her ear. “Babe, there’re some things I’ve been trying to…umm, wanting to tell you.”
“What is it?” Chloe tried to sit up, but Jesse pulled her back down beside him so he could hold her. He didn’t think he’d be able to get the words out otherwise.
He nestled her in the crook of his arm and kissed her crown. She was turned on her side toward him, her arm across his chest. Did she notice his heart pounding? Could she feel it? He took a deep breath. “I’m bi.”
“What?” she asked like she hadn’t heard him or something.
“I’m bisexual, Chloe.”
She giggled. Kind of. He wasn’t sure. “Oh…but you’re not gay?”
He smirked and shook his head. “No, babe, I’m definitely not gay.”
“Whew! Okay then.” She squeezed him around his middle and pecked his cheek.
He expected more of a reaction. Questions. Something. “Just okay?”
“Jesse, I love you. I don’t care that you got a blowjob in the locker room or whatever.” She giggled—for real this time. “I kissed a girl at a keg party—with tongue and everything. It’s just a thing—everybody does it at least once, yeah?”
Jesse sat up on the built-in lounger and pulled Chloe with him. She straddled his lap and he brushed the hair from her face. “Maybe. That’s curiosity or experimenting or maybe just being drunk at a party.” He leaned his forehead against her. “That’s not me, babe. I know what I am—I’m bisexual. That means I’m equally attracted to men and—”
“I know what bisexual is, Jesse.” She pulled her head back with a slight shake, making a smacking sound with her lips. Then she smiled and leaned in. Wrapping her arms around his shoulders, she hugged him tightly to her. “It doesn’t matter. We’re together now. You love me.”
“I do love you, Riosin.” He really did, so he prayed she’d understand. “I love you so much.” He placed a tender kiss on her lips. “But loving you doesn’t change who or what I am—loving you makes me a better man. Loving you…loving him—”
“Him?”
Chloe let go of him and sat back. The loss of her body on his brought a chill to his skin even in the warmth of July. He reached for her and touched the long nutmeg tresses that ruffled in the summer breeze. Her gemstone eyes filled and he watched her blink to stop the tears from spilling over.
He had to get the rest of the words out so she wouldn’t cry.
Only happy tears, little rose.
