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“I’m trying so hard to stay in this, to love you, but I can’t keep trying. I can’t force it anymore.”
“What are you saying?” I search her eyes for something, anything, but they stare back at me… empty.
“You know what I’m saying.”
“Is there someone else?” She doesn’t answer me; she doesn’t have to. “Who?”
“Don’t do this. Just choose, Wes, either me or your business. I’m tired of competing.”
She shut the door of the bathroom and that was the last night we slept in the same bed. I never asked her about the other man again. I found a love letter from him but after only a few lines, I stopped reading it. I saw the evidence of unfaithfulness, the hidden phone screens, the sudden girls’ nights that didn’t end until the early morning hours.
Nobody knew, not even my parents, that we were on the verge of divorce when she was diagnosed. Nobody knew that she was having an affair either. I didn’t blame her; I still don’t. I’m the one who ran her into the arms of another man. But what I can’t decide is if I made a mistake by not letting her go to him. I was by her side while she was sick, up until the very end. I never knew who the other man was; she never told me. I don’t even know if she broke it off when she got sick or if she even told him that she was dying.
I live with so many regrets, but the truth is, if I had to do it all over, I still don’t know what the right way would have been to handle it. I hang my head. I can’t do the same thing to Daphne. She doesn’t deserve for me to take out my unresolved issues and anger on her. She did nothing wrong.
I slowly make my way through the boat, down the hall till I reach her room. I knock softly but there’s no answer. I open the door. The room is dark. I kick off my shoes, crawling into bed beside her and pulling her into my arms.
“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry,” I whisper against her ear as she pulls my arms tighter around her.
Chapter 15
Daphne
“So you’re going to make me ask?” Xana stares at me, a piece of lettuce dangling from her fork. “How was the Bahamas?”
I shrug nonchalantly. “It was fun, good. Lots of sun and sand. How was the lake?”
“Seriously? That’s all you’re going to give me?”
“I don’t know what else you expect me to say.”
“Oh, I dunno, maybe elaborate on what it was like to fly on a private jet, stay on a private yacht, and lunch at The Four Fucking Seasons?”
I laugh at how dramatic she’s being. “Well, yeah, that was unparalleled. Makes me sad that I can’t vacation like that all the time. Nothing like when we went to Panama City Beach in college with eight other girls and split a single hotel room and lived off ramen and liquor for four days.” I gag just thinking about it.
“I know what you’re trying to do.”
“Tell me about the lake.” I smile.
“It was good. Ryan’s parents were hilarious. His dad brought a ukulele and got tipsy and sang. Totally embarrassed Ryan but made me laugh. Now, will you please tell me if anything more happened between you two? I’m not going to let it go.”
I’m not trying to be coy. I really debated on if I even wanted to talk about it since I have no idea what it even is.
“Okay, fine, but don’t freak out.” She lets out a high-pitched squeak of excitement. “I mean it. We might have kissed again and did a little more.”
“A little more or a lot more?”
“A lot more.”
“Oh my God.” Her mouth falls open. “Tell me everything. How was it?”
“It was good, like goooood. Toe-curling, fireworks, I-finally-understand-what-the-big-deal-is good.” I feel a little awkward sharing this, for as close as we are, I’ve never been open about my sex life, maybe because it wasn’t as exciting as I wanted it to be in the past and I was ashamed. I felt guilty for wanting a more exciting sex life with Carson.
“Did you?”
“Yeah, so many times.” We both burst into laughter.
“So what’s this mean for you guys? Are you like a thing now?”
