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Holy shit. “Whoa.” I suck in another quick breath as the start of a panic attack hits me. He’s going so far with this and dropping one bombshell after another…I can’t catch my breath. I’m excited. I’m stunned. I’m overwhelmed, and even though this is Sawyer, and I trust him, old fears of wondering what he’ll expect from me rise to the surface. “Why are you doing this for me?”
He shakes his head, glancing at the floor. “I…I want to.”
“But you don’t want to marry me?”
He frowns. “I never said that.”
All I can manage is a stare. I gaze at him, trying to make sense of it all, of him.
“Would you try, at least? Will you let me help you?”
Why? Why do you want to help me so badly? “By being engaged?”
“It wouldn’t mean anything unless—” He hesitates. “If we did have to get married so you could access the estate that is rightfully yours, I’d give you a divorce right after that was settled. I wouldn’t expect any money from you, nothing like that.”
My heart feels like it’s about to crack. Nothing like that? Is he joking and trying to be cruel here? “You don’t want this.”
“I want you, Claire. I think that’s pretty clear.”
A tense moment follows his blunt confession, but I fear a lifetime of trying to process this won’t be enough.
He steps closer, raising his brows in a silent question.
I nod, agreeing, and hate how guilty I feel. I can’t let this offer—or him—pass me by.
He exhales and pulls a beautiful ring from his pocket. He really means this. He came prepared. “This was my mother’s,” he says.
That makes me feel even worse. He shouldn’t be wasting an heirloom, a family ring, on a sham with me. I almost backtrack, regretting this “game,” but he slips it on my finger before I can move back.
“Dalton will handle the rest.”
I stare at him, blinking quickly. I want nothing more than to lay my heart open for him, to tell him how I feel about him, but it’s so clear he doesn’t feel the same. If he did, he wouldn’t safeguard his offer with backup plans and easy outs. He can’t feel the same, but for whatever reason, he feels obligated to help me.
As he gazes into my eyes, I sense that he doubts this, or maybe he’s unsure of himself.
He snaps, though, robbing me of a chance to ask, and he kisses me deeply.
I hold onto him, pressing up to match his desire, and as he dips me back, I can’t help but imagine this is real, that I’m a bride in this future space of a shop, choosing my gown for our wedding, should he ever feel the same.
Chapter 27
Claire
For most of the next week, I do my best not to stare at the ring on my finger. It’s not a showy, gaudy bauble of a piece. The diamond is bright and glittery but a smaller stone. As I dive right into the hustle of starting over on Lauren’s dress, I appreciate its modest size. If I wore a larger rock or had to suffer with a sharp-edged setting, I would fear the ring snagging on the fabric and thread. It doesn’t, and before long, it becomes second nature to trust that this ring is undoubtedly a perfect fit for a woman who works with her hands and deals with delicate materials prone to tears.
With the new sewing machine and the upgraded storage solutions for my things at the cabin, I’m able to work faster on the gown. I have a zest in my life. My dreams and goals aren’t as distant now. Guilt pricks at me when I remember that Sawyer is offering me the shop space out of some obligation he feels toward me, maybe a sense of wanting to be a hero for the sake of playing that role. I don’t know why he would go so far as to pretend to have an engagement with me, but I suppose it’s not costing him anything. It’s just a fake role. It can’t mean anything to him, but still, a sliver of hope burns inside my heart as I wish this were a real thing, that he wasn’t making this grand gesture out of pity to spare me from my mother’s wishes.
He doesn’t pull away like he did before, but we’re both so busy that I don’t have the time to focus on him. I am determined to sit down and talk with him, to truly communicate about where he’s coming from with all of these plans to help me, but he’s busy with work. One of his crew leaders was injured, and he’s putting more hours in than usual. And I’m not available or idle, investing double the time to make Lauren’s dress a complete garment on time after my mother’s destruction of the first one.
The one night we managed to find a few hours together, we fell into bed, sleeping with each other with a rabid need to come close, but he snuck out in the middle of the night, alerted to one of his crews needing help super early at the construction warehouse where he stored his equipment. Sooner or later, we will have to sit down and really talk, because the longer this fake engagement drags on with my emotions in limbo, I feel like I might combust.
Lauren and Aubrey stop over to check on my progress on the dress, and it seems all they want to talk about is precisely what I wish I could chat about with Sawyer.
“It’s beautiful!” Lauren gushes, wiping tears from her eyes.
Aubrey drapes her arms around both of our shoulders as we stand in a line facing the dress. “It really is.” Then she claps my back and wheels Lauren to face me. “Now. What is the meaning of this.” She takes my hand, and they both stare at the ring Sawyer gave me.
“I, uh…” I smile, but I hold back on joining in their enthusiasm. “Sawyer came up with an idea to help me out.” I knew I would have to spill the beans to them, but I have yet to know what to say.
