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“I’m a fashion designer. Bridal gowns, specifically.” It feels stupid to claim that. I haven’t actually done that yet to declare it as my job, but once Lauren’s dress is finished, it will be true—with or without my dream shop.
“Ah.”
“So, I get it. If I had a sister or a real brother, I bet they’d have their interests while I have mine.” He doesn’t reply, staring at his drink. I’m waiting for a deeper explanation about why he and Sawyer aren’t close because I’m that thirsty for more clues about the man I can’t get out of my head.
“Are you not close with Jason either?” I ask. If the difference of interests is what split the brothers, it seems Kevin wouldn’t be close with Jason either.
“He’s all right. We get along. But Sawyer…” He sighs and faces me, studying me directly. “You’re really curious, aren’t you?”
I smile, not sheepish to show that he’s caught me there. I am curious about everything about Sawyer, including details about his family members and why his brother might not be close to him. I’m deluded, thinking the more I know about that sexy man, the better I can be rational with my decisions about him.
Yeah, right. I’ll only want more and more. It’s a scary notion, this need to get more involved with Sawyer when I know nothing will ever last. I meant it when I told Dalton I’m not going to my mother in New York, but that doesn’t mean staying here. The urge to rub my face hits me, but I refrain from showing my frustrations like that in public. Simply put, I have no clue what to do or where to go. I see no answers anywhere.
“Sawyer is a…” I can’t even figure out what to call him. He’s more than a friend now, one who wants to pretend I don’t exist.
“Ah.” Kevin nods. “That kind of a friend.”
I purse my lips, hating how he might be judging or viewing me now.
“I’m surprised.”
Okay, red flags galore here. “Why?”
“You’re not his type.”
I giggle. Well, everyone would think that. I’m confident that Sawyer’s far from what should be my type, too. “We do seem like a case of opposites attract.” I smile, twirling my straw in my drink. “He calls me high-maintenance.”
Kevin smiles, not making eye contact. “I would think he’d know better then.”
I frown. “Because…a ‘high-maintenance’ woman isn’t worthy of his time?”
“No. It’s just what you’ve said. He’s your opposite. Sawyer is, uh, not high-maintenance. He’s a simple working man.”
I furrow my brow as I focus on my drink. I don’t want to dignify that comment with looking at him. That’s a cruel comment. Sawyer isn’t simple, and to know his brother views him so poorly hurts.
“I’m not one to claim to know Sawyer, all right? We’re not close, so please, whatever you’ve got going on with him, don’t take my words to heart.”
Ha. Too late for that.
“Well, we’re in the same boat there. I feel like I don’t know him that well either.” Except, um, in the naked sense. “And I have a hunch Sawyer doesn’t really know what he wants anyway.”
Kevin nods. “Yeah, that sounds about right.”
Maybe he thinks I’ve said something accurate, but it feels wrong to speak it.
This funkiness remains with me for the rest of the night. Even though Kevin moves aside to chat with Aubrey and another colleague from the school they work at, I can’t shake Sawyer from my mind.
I miss him. I wonder what I’ve done wrong to make him want to avoid me. I hate that he can’t have a good relationship with both of his brothers. And more than anything, I wish that whatever changed his mind about me could no longer stand between us.
I don’t know what to do next or where I’ll go in the next phase of resisting my mother’s efforts to marry me off, but I wish that while I am here in Colorado, I could spend every possible minute with Sawyer.
***
Dalton and Aubrey drop me off at the cabin, and I jump right into working on Lauren’s dress. It’s all I have to distract myself. My hope is that I will tire out my eyes and force a decent night of sleep on myself.
Headlights flash through the windows, though, capturing my attention. No one ever drives out this way, and since it’s Dalton’s private property, no one should be out here.
Except…
