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“Not to mention it’s way past the date it would be approved even if you were there,” he adds.
It’s a small measure of relief. But it doesn’t last long. She’s blasted this everywhere, tagging my business profile. Everyone will see—
I jerk my face up as my stomach clenches. “Aubrey’s going to see this.”
He holds up his hand. “Not so fast. I showed Lauren as soon as I saw it, before I headed to the big house to find you. She took off for the library, to make sure Aubrey doesn’t check her phone. Reception’s been spotty for her, and Lauren says Aubrey’s been on a self-ban from using social media for a while. She’s not likely to look right now, but still.”
I whoosh out a big breath. I’m on the edge of telling Aubrey I want something lasting with her. I’m so close to getting the courage to lay it all on the line with her and just be honest that I’m falling for her. And now this. This is the last thing I need thrown in her face as she tries to consider me as something more than a just-for-fun hookup.
“I’m pissed, man. I wish you didn’t have to deal with this.”
“But it’s all my fault.”
He snorts. “The hell it is.”
“No. I mean it’s my fault that she’s getting so ballsy to pull a stunt like this. She’s been trying to contact me and I haven’t given her a minute of my time.”
“Yeah. I told you to block her.”
Like blocking her would’ve helped. She still would’ve done this, trying to force me to talk to her. My reluctance to hear her out is biting me in the ass. If I’d just sat down and talked, she would’ve given me a chance to tell her I’d never marry her.
“But you’ve got to talk to her now. You’ve got to tell her to knock it off once and for all, or else.”
Or else I sic my lawyer on her. I nod, hating the tight spot she’s put me in. “I know. I will. I do need to.” This kind of conversation would be best in person. Where she can’t manipulate what I say. Texts are too ambiguous. A phone call wouldn’t show her how I’m expressing my anger. Even a video call feels wrong. I need to speak with her, now, and that means I’ll need to go back to New York immediately. I can’t let this circulate and go untended before it causes more serious damage. I have to address it sooner than later, and that’s going to shift my flight back to the Big Apple to tomorrow instead of next week.
“I need to talk to Aubrey first,” I say aloud. I’m not telling Caleb, just voicing my worries and concerns. I’m grateful Caleb and Lauren are rushing to prevent this news from reaching Aubrey, but I cannot ignore the need to be upfront and honest with her.
“Yeah, you really do.” Caleb frowns at me, sympathetic but firm. “If you’re thinking about getting this serious about her, you cannot let this be a misunderstanding that brews more trouble. You’ve got to come clean about just how bad Johanna wants you back.”
“I’m not going back to her.” I say the words I’ve thought so many times, but speaking them to him feels so definite. Seeing that form pulls back so many memories though. It’s hard to forget the exciting hope I felt at that time. Johanna squashed that hope and optimism for the future, but now that I’m recalling the experience, I miss that feeling of knowing I won’t be alone for the rest of my life.
But not with her. I rub my head as tension gathers there. Not with Johanna. Since meeting Aubrey, I’ve fallen into the dream of her, but with this hiccup, I feel like I’d be an ass to expect her to commit to me when my past is still such turmoil. Aubrey doesn’t deserve this crap either, and I hate that I haven’t just moved on and sealed a stamp of closure on Johanna yet.
“Lauren’s going to tell her to come back for dinner. We’ll make sure you guys can talk,” Caleb says.
It doesn’t escape my notice that Aubrey is already falling under his protection. If I were to hurt Aubrey, that would be indirectly hurting Lauren because the women are such close friends. He’s not telling me what to do. I already know that I have to be honest with her and explain this bullshit.
I need to lay everything out on the table now. It means putting my heart at risk of being hurt, but I have no other choice.
I can’t hide behind the walls anymore. I’ve got to take a chance that Aubrey won’t reject me, that she’ll believe me when I say I think I love her—three words I vowed I’d never tell a woman ever again.
Chapter 27
Aubrey
Dinner is a weird affair.
Lauren showed up at the library talking so much and acting over-enthusiastic that I couldn’t figure her out. We spent lots of time together, along with Marian, while Dalton and Caleb were on their fishing trip. Maybe she was simply so super-excited about Caleb coming back that she was antsy.
She came to find me at the library, asking all kinds of questions about my efforts. My phone service is always spotty at the Goldfinch B&B. It isn’t as new as the phones Lauren, Caleb, and Dalton have, and the internet reception there is iffy. I headed to the nearest library down the mountain to update my résumé, look up the teaching license requirements for Colorado, and otherwise prepare for applying to the third-grade teacher job Sherry had told me about. I contacted her as well, and it was fun texting with her. It’s always nice to make new friends, even with how selective I am.
I appreciated Lauren’s enthusiasm and interest in what I was up to, but I still felt like she was trying too hard. It had to be because she missed Caleb and needed to while away the time until his return.
I was happy to see Caleb and Dalton at dinner, but it was strange. They didn’t talk much, and it didn’t seem like a good chance for me to converse with Dalton at all. I was still eager to tell him about the teaching job. I was warming up to telling him how I felt about him. But the awkwardness at the meal threw me off.
A contractor stopped in too. Sawyer Cameron, I believe he said his name was. He isn’t like Hayes at all. A normal, average guy, maybe a bit older. His polite manners impress me, and he has never joined in on what seems like the crude and bawdy talk the construction crew seems so prone to on the property. When he stepped in to ask Caleb a question, Marian—the sweet soul she is—insisted he sit down and eat since he was the only worker staying so late on the site next door.
I didn’t mind him being there, and it was interesting to hear about the house being built. But he was a stranger, and it made it harder for me to want to speak up and tell the others all about the teaching opportunity. Spending time at the library for it and texting with Sherry has me excited about it, but I go to my room later, sort of bummed that I haven’t had a chance to tell Dalton yet. He and Caleb remain in the dining room chatting with the contractor, and I hope I’ll have an opportunity later to speak to the tall man who’s stealing my heart.
