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Silvia nods. He’s clearly communicated this to her already. She follows behind me as I move into the kitchen.
I guess she won’t live here like I did. Maybe because she’s married and has her own life. Or maybe because I’ve scared him off live-in nannies for life.
“Okay, great. So, uh, are you moving anything in today or..?” My voice trails off. I tap my fingers against the countertop, regretting how awkward I feel.
“No, no,” she says. “Just stopping by. I don’t officially start for a few weeks.” She looks around, seemingly admiring the room. “I can’t stay long, I just wanted to pop in.”
Right, right. I think Victoria’s parents are helping a bit more. I heard Sean mention something like that on the phone the other night. Not that I was listening to him or anything. He made it clear that we’re done, and I can accept that.
Or I will. Because I have too.
I clear my throat. “Would you like anything to drink?”
“A water, please.”
I grab a glass from the cabinet. Silvia looks exactly like my own grandmother. I smile as I set down her drink. She kind of has the same demeanor too. It’s kind of sad that I’ll never get to know her.
“Have you worked here long?” she asks me, looking over the top of her glass.
“A few months,” I say, shrugging my shoulders. “I’m a teacher, I just needed a little extra income.”
She folds her hands and rests her chin on her fingers. “I’m sorry you had to do that.”
I swallow down my feelings. “It is all right. Violet is a wonderful kid. It’s been a pretty easy job, to be honest.” I smile, knowing that it doesn’t reflect in my eyes.
“You’re sad to go.” She doesn’t say it like a question, more like an observation.
“Yeah,” I fake a cough when the tears sting my eyes. “Yeah, I’m going to miss Violet a lot. She’s very sweet.” I look over at the fridge and see the family portrait still hanging. It feels as if it cleaves my heart in two.
Silvia reaches out to hold my hand. “Your first family?” she asks kindly.
“Yeah.” I swipe at the tears I feel behind my eyes. Dammit. I told myself I wouldn’t cry.
She gives me a reassuring squeeze. “It never gets easier,” she sighs. “They start to feel like family. That never goes away.”
I nod my head silently, too overcome by emotion to respond.
“Well, I should be going,” she says, setting the glass down against the marble countertop and standing. “I’m glad I stopped by today and got to meet you.”
“Me too,” I say as I follow her to the door, wiping the tears from my eyes.
“I know I we don’t know each other,” she says, pausing at the door. “But if I can give you some advice?”
I nod my head, afraid that if I speak, I won’t be able to hold everything in.
“It always works out how it is supposed to.” Her hand clutches mine. “Give it time.”
I hear the mechanical whir of the garage door opening. Sean must be home.
My stomach drops.
“Well dear, that’s my sign. I’ll leave you alone.” She gives me one last squeeze.
I give her the biggest smile I can, but my cheeks are strained from the heaviness of my eyes.
She understands, giving me one last look before walking out the door.
A part of me wants to run away with her. Wherever she’s going is better than here. Maybe we can start this whole thing early, switch places, pretend that I’m already gone.
