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I text Tanner.
Sean
Is she mad at me?
Three dots appear and then slip away.
I chew the inside of my cheek. Fuck. I didn’t think to warn her about the media. I just assumed… I mean, we live together. Surely, she knows there’s no one else.
Tanner
Heather said she left in tears. Gave some BS story about a migraine.
That’s worse than being mad.
I twist my hat backwards and rub a hand over my face. Fuck. I tap my fingers against my phone as I stare at the messages, hoping for inspiration. I need to win her over, and I have to try to think of ways to make it up to her.
I click on the link in the message. If I’m going to do damage control, I need to know what I’m up against.
Coach Tommy slides in the seat next to me. “You want to talk about it?” No, actually. He’s the last person I want to talk to about it.
I shake my head, scrolling through the endless comments on the Instagram post that Connor had sent to me. Is this what Astrid will think of me? That she’s one of many?
“Nah, I’m alright, thanks Coach,” I say, finding the words eventually.
He gets up, nods his head, and walks away, but I can tell he knows something it up.
Shit. The last thing I need is Coach thinking my head isn’t in it. Cory and Connor are the people closest to me, they’re supportive of anything that makes me happy. Coach, on the other hand, is a different story. He won’t support anything that takes my focus away from the game.
Thirty minutes later, we board the plane and there is still no response from Astrid. At this point, I feel sick as my anxiety tightens its grip. I know that if she doesn’t respond before we take off, it means that I won’t know what’s going on until we land at the earliest.
Cory tries his best to distract me from the gnawing uncertainty on the flight, but it doesn’t work. Our usual banter falls flat as I struggle to respond to him, too consumed by a foreign need for reassurance.
The tension doesn’t release until the wheels touch down. Relief washes over me as the knot in my stomach begins to untangle. Home is close, and it will give me answers. One way or another.
I have to fight my instinct to run from baggage claim out to my car. But Coach Tommy puts a hand on my shoulder before I can escape.
“You played well.” He claps me on the shoulder. “Real well,” he says as we walk outside together.
The moment we step beyond the sliding glass doors, a cool wind blows against us, making an already uncomfortable conversation even worse.
“Oh. Okay. Thanks.” It is too cold outside to chitchat. I can see my breath. I hope that he keeps this brief. Tommy has never seemed like a big fan of mine, and after yesterday, I’m starting to think that he outright hates me. I’d like to limit the number of stressful conversations today.
“You have a promising future. Just don’t let some girl ruin everything. Girls will always be there.” He takes a step but turns back. “During the offseason.” His words hang in the air, even after he’s gone.
The shiver that racks through my body has nothing to do with the winter air. Some girl.
A bitter part of me wants to remind Tommy of his divorce. All three of them.
Why is this haunting me? Can’t people stay out of my personal life?
That pisses me off. He’s doubled down on being a prick and as much as I wish I could tell him to fuck off and forget anything he’s ever said, that little seed of doubt has dug itself deeper and deeper with every step I take.
I might disagree with him, but he is the coach. It’s his decisions that matter. And if he hates me, I worry that he’ll convince the rest of the coaches to hate me as well.
I swallow. The certainty and excitement I felt in going home now wavers. This man has the power to derail my entire career. And if I don’t step up, I could lose much more than just Astrid.
CHAPTER 20
