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I’ve never seen her look so pale. I can’t stand to see her like this. I pull her into me and wrap my arms around tight. “No, Astrid. I don’t just do this with anyone.” God, what she must think of me after hearing that. I kiss the top of her head. Now that I know it’s not me and it’s her fear of what this all means, I’m far more confident in my actions. “You aren’t just anything. You mean something to me.”

I try to think of a way to make it up to her and salvage our friendship. Friendship? Is she my friend? I guess my working relationship. I suppose after everything, she doesn’t consider me a friend anymore.

I suppose I don’t consider her a friend either…

“I am?” Her voice trembles.

“Astrid.” My heart breaks for her. I hate that she feels this way. I never wanted to hurt her, and I’ve managed to find a way already. “I would never use you. I would never hurt you like that. Never.”

She sniffles and I let her work through what I’ve said as I hold her against me.

“Still want to go for a run?” I ask, not letting her go and not sure what to do or say next that will make this better.

“Can we make coffee and go for a walk instead?” she asks.

“Sure.” I kiss her head. “I’ll make it. What do you want?”

“As much espresso and ice as you can fit into that cup.” She nods towards her giant tumbler.

“Okay.” I chuckle.

The walk is nice. It’s colder than either of us expected. I give her my hoodie so she doesn’t freeze, which is hilarious because it is basically a dress on her.

She looks up at me.

“That fits you so well,” I laugh.

“Keep it up and I won’t give it back to you.”

“You can’t steal my favorite hoodie.”

“Watch me.” She grins.

I’m so relieved to see her smiling again. I don’t want to ruin it by talking about last night, but I need to get to the bottom of what’s happened.

“So…” I start.

“So?”

“So do you want to talk more about what happened last night?”

She stares pointedly at the ground.

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to,” I add quickly. My intention is not to make things worse.

She sighs. There is so much weight in the unspoken words building between us. “There’s not much more to say. The women made it sound like you wouldn’t take someone like me seriously.”

I resist the urge to dismiss what she says. I hate the way those words sound out of her mouth, but I don’t want to react because I want her to feel comfortable continuing to tell me what she’s thinking.

“It is just a strange feeling is all… I mean.” She shrugs. “You don’t owe me anything. I get it. So…” The rest of what remains unsaid trails off into the wind, leaving me wondering what other insecurities this may have brought up. She kicks a loose bit of pavement.

I keep my pace steady with hers, careful not to accidentally walk ahead. “What do mean by, someone like you?”

There is a pause, and for a moment, I wonder if she’s even going to answer.

“I guess they meant someone…plain. Normal. To them—and to you—I'm just the help.” She shrugs off the sentence like it is no big deal.

But it is a big deal to me.

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