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“Is that why you asked me to come over tonight?” While he was always happy to see her, it did concern him that she hadn’t wanted to wait until tomorrow night.
“Yes. I wanted to talk to you about some things and... well, I didn’t want to talk about them at the restaurant.”
He put some dressing on his salad, picked up his fork, and gestured for her to go ahead.
“I would like for us to play tonight.”
His fork stopped halfway to his mouth.
“If it’s all right with you, Sir.”
Alexander laid his fork down, wiped his mouth, and placed his napkin on the table before giving Grace his full attention. While he had no issue with them playing tonight, he needed to understand her reasoning. “Why?”
She worried the bottom of her lip with her teeth before glancing up at him with those wide eyes of hers. “I’ve been thinking about it and thinking about it, and when I do I get more and more nervous.”
“Maybe you’re not ready.” He reached out to touch the back of her hand. “It’s okay if you’re not.”
Grace shook her head. “That’s not it. I just keep thinking of all the what-ifs. I mean, I’ve never played with anyone but Kurt. What if it’s different with someone else? What if I can’t...”
“What if you can’t what?”
“What if I can’t submit to someone else?” she whispered.
This was a real fear. He could see it in her eyes.
Resituating his napkin, he picked his fork back up. “Eat,” he said, motioning toward her salad.
She hunched her shoulders in what looked to be defeat and reached for her fork. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”
“If you want us to play tonight, you’ll need your energy. Eat.”
Grace froze, and then a sly smile tugged at her lips.
“That’s right. You’re getting what you want, gattina. Don’t get too used to it.” He winked at her, letting her know he wasn’t upset.
If truth be told, she’d probably get away with more than she should in this relationship—arrangement—or whatever it was you wanted to call what they were about to embark upon. He was hard-pressed to deny her much of anything. There was something about Grace that called to him whether she wanted it or not. Somehow he doubted it would take long for her to steal his heart. He only hoped she didn’t rip it out and stomp on it.
Alexander knew she wouldn’t do it on purpose, but he wasn’t naive. He knew she was still in love with her husband. Knew that the only reason she was doing this was because Kurt had asked it of her. But that didn’t change how he felt. Grace needed someone to take care of her—love her—and he was more than up for the job as long as she would let him.
Maybe that made him a sucker, but he could live with that.
***
Chapter 11
He worked beside her to clean up after their meal before saying they should head up to her bedroom. It was really going to happen. They were going to play.
Grace tried to control her breathing as they climbed the stairs. With each step she took she counted her blessings that Alexander had agreed to be her Dom. As nervous as she was about tonight, she knew it would have been ten times worse with someone else.
When they reached her room, she paused outside the door. This was it.
Grace took a deep breath in and let it out slowly before crossing the threshold. She stood off to the side as Alexander strolled into the room and took a look around. He ran his fingers over the comforter on the bed before glancing at the items on top of her nightstand. She saw his brief hesitation before he picked up one of her books.
During one of their dinners, she’d mentioned how much she liked to read. What she hadn’t told him was the type of books she preferred. Grace stood by helplessly as he flipped the book over and read the back.
After several moments, he placed the book down and moved on without comment. A small part of her was disappointed. At least if they talked about her books she could focus on something other than the scene they were going to do tonight.
“Do you have a toy bag?” His voice came out of nowhere and startled her. When she met his gaze across the room he had a smirk on his face. He’d known what he was doing.
