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Between my legs, my panties are drenched.
My core hurts, the knots of arousal are twisted too tight.
My breaths are coming in hard pants I try to hide behind sips of my drink, which is only muddling my thoughts. My skin feels flushed, my body over-sensitive.
“Pippa?” Ian calls, and when my eyes snap to him, I realize he’s frowning at me. Against my inner thigh, Tav’s hand has gone still.
Shoot, he’s been calling me.
I clear my throat. “Hmm?”
“You okay?”
“Yeah,” I squeak, clear my throat again, and try again. “Why?”
“You’re flushed. You look—” He studies me. “Like you’re running a fever.”
I take the excuse happily as I push the blankets from my lap, shoving from Tav’s hold. “You know what, you’re right. I’m feeling a little feverish. I’ve been off all day, hence the comfort food.” Setting my nearly empty glass to the table, I’m already walking to the door—to my escape. “I’m going to call it an early night. Sleep off whatever I’m coming down with.” At the door, I give the guys one last wave, avoiding both their eyes. “Night.”
Inside, my heart thunders in my chest as I race to my room. Then I race to the bathroom where I take an ice-cold shower.
twenty-one
Olympia
The shower does nothing to cool my heated flesh, or the touch Tav seared into my inner thighs. Outright, I’m horny.
Looking at myself in the mirror, I decide Ian had been right. I look feverish. My eyes are bright, and my skin is flushed, on the ruby side of pink. Under my thin, white, oversized night tee, my nipples are painfully hard points.
I can’t help taking in the wild curls I’d pinned to the top of my head to keep from getting wet in my shower, that are now down around my body, looking attractively mussed. I’m almost twenty and I’ve yet to experience an orgasm.
Looking at myself right now, I no longer see the wide-eyed uncertainty of the girl who’d lived under Remira’s rule. I see a young woman ready to explore.
I want to live. I want to experience.
I want to know what it feels like to come undone.
Isn’t that why I ordered the vibrator that’s sat untouched in my nightstand since it arrived?
It’s not like Remira is going to walk in on me here. And Tav hasn’t once invaded my privacy by coming into my room.
Even without a lock on my door, I feel I’m safe to explore my needs—my body.
Tracking my face once more in the mirror, along with my flushed cheeks and bright eyes, I realize my lips have turned a deeper shade of dusky rose red. My arousal is painted over every inch of my body. It’s a curious, intriguing thing.
I look beautiful.
Never having taken the time to really look at my body before, always too afraid of Remira catching me and beating me for it, I lift my sleep tee up and over my head, letting it fall to the bathroom floor at my feet. I’m completely naked now.
Spinning in a slow circle, I take in the sight of my body. I’m not perfect, this I know. I don’t look like a model, not smooth or unblemished enough to even compare myself to one. With the long, raised welt across my butt that’s accompanied by the thin, unraised but still visible scars from the same lashing, I can’t claim I’ll ever have a great ass. It might be high and round and looks sort of good in jeans—but with it’s too big size and the scars, it’ll never be any man’s fantasy. My hips are wide and even though my shape is hourglass, I feel it’s offset by my thick thighs and too big breasts. My usually pale complexion is flushed a pale pink, and as my eyes lock on that place between my legs, where the groomed strip of curls sits over my pussy-lips, I can see the shimmer of my own wetness clinging to the curls. Or maybe it’s residual water from the shower.
My breath lodges in my chest as I move my hand lower, pushing a finger into my curls to stroke into the hot wetness of my core. Definitely arousal. Not water.
The touch of my finger as I stroke it through my lips is—intense. Like, really intense. I feel slippery and soft, and when my fingertips slide over a small bundle of nerves, I pitch forward, my hands flying forward to grip the counter.
Whoa. I mean—wow.
I’m panting hard now, the knot Tav began tying in my belly twisting with fresh demand. I lift my eyes to the mirror again, seeing that the flush in my skin is deeper. My breasts rise and fall with every deep breath and my eyes are so bright, so filled with need, I can’t deny even with my imperfections, I’m beautiful.
