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“Fuck. I’m sorry. Is there anythin’ I can do to help?” he questions as Paige joins us in the hallway lined with the bedrooms.
“I don’t know. It’s just the first day. I’m gonna get some breakfast and see if that helps calm my stomach down. Maybe some toast or something easy. I don’t know if I can handle eating more than that right now. I’ve gotta eat something and take my vitamins. Kountry and Riggs will be here soon to pick me up too. I think it’s one of the last days I’ll have in the shop before I can open it up,” I answer, looking between the couple as Ricochet holds Paige in his arms.
“Do you think you’re okay to go in today?” Paige asks me, her voice wavering with the worry she’s feeling right now.
“Yeah. I’ll be okay. It’s not like I do any lifting or anything. I’m waiting on a few deliveries and need to be there in case they show up. The guys have been doing all the heavy lifting for me. Kountry is always making sure I have something to eat and drink. I’ll be perfectly safe going there. We can double check with Doc next week for my appointment if you want. I don’t see her telling me I can’t go to work at this point,” I try to reassure them. “I’m gonna go get dressed so I’m ready when they get here.”
“Fair warnin’. Hawkeye’s in the kitchen. He came down for breakfast this mornin’. Didn’t know he was stoppin’ over, but I can’t tell my brother he’s not allowed in my house either,” Ricochet tells me, watching me close for a reaction.
“It’s okay. I’m not gonna crumble if I see him or sit at the same table as him. We both know where we stand and that it’s not going to change right now. The move is his to make and I won’t force him to do something he doesn’t wanna do. You guys don’t have to worry about me so much. Yes, it hurts so fucking bad to see him and not be able to truly spend time with him. But, we’re both grown ass adults and can put our feelings aside for a while,” I tell them, heading for my room to get dressed for the day.
I can hear Paige and Ricochet having a whispered conversation in the hallway as my heart beats out of my chest. This will be the first time I’ve been close to Hawkeye since he told me about the biker near my trailer. They’re right to worry about me. I hate this shit and know that the last thing I want is to spend the morning with Hawkeye at a table over breakfast. Being so close to him is going to rip me apart. I’m already hormonal and emotional. Seeing him up close will only make me want to shed the tears I’m holding back with everything in me.
After getting dressed, I head out to the kitchen. Hawkeye is sitting at the table, leaning back in his chair as if he doesn’t have a care in the world. He looks so fucking sexy sitting there in his broken in jeans, the black tank top molding to his chest, his cut displaying his strong as fuck arms. Today he’s wearing a black hat that he’s got pulled down low over his eyes. I love looking into Hawkeye’s eyes. They’re a hazel color with a golden ring around the outside and green specks throughout. They look greener when he’s turned on and a dark brown when he’s pissed as hell. I’ve never seen him look sexier than right now. Especially with the five o’clock shadow covering his jaw. Hawkeye typically keeps his face shaved clean. It’s very rare to see him with any kind of stubble covering his face.
“I’ve got your toast in,” Ricochet tells me. “Are you sure you don’t wanna try an omelet?”
“No,” I tell him, the thought of eggs making me gag a little. “I’m just gonna have the toast with butter and a glass of juice. If my stomach settles by lunch, I’ll get something more substantial to eat. We’ll keep an eye on the morning sickness and if it gets too bad, I’ll call Doc to see if there’s something I can do to help me.”
“Okay. If it gets too bad, don’t stay at the shop, Tara. You come home and rest,” Paige says concern in her voice as she hands me a glass of orange juice.
“I will. Tank will be with me today. You know if he doesn’t think I’m feeling good that he won’t let me stay there,” I tell her as Ricochet brings my toast over. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Eat up. I don’t want you runnin’ out the door before you’ve had the chance to eat those two slices of toast and drink your juice. Did you already take your vitamin?” Ricochet orders me.
“It’s right here. I’m gonna get one piece of toast eaten before I take it.”
Hawkeye doesn’t say anything. He sits back and watches us interact as usual. Hawkeye is always watching everyone around him. I’ve noticed Tank doing the same thing when I’ve spent time at the clubhouse. He gives Paige a rare smile when she brings him his omelet and juice. The coffee he’s drinking kind of makes my stomach turn. I haven’t been able to handle the smell of it for the last few days. But, I’m not about to let it make me run from the table as I pick up a piece of toast and eat it. I keep my head down and listen as the guys talk with Paige. I have nothing to contribute as I focus on eating, taking my medicine, and drinking my juice. They don’t seem to mind me not saying a word to any of them either.
I finally got the coffee and the last of the shit in for the shop. I’ve been putting it on the shelves where I want it all to go. Tank and the others have been looking at the coffee machines since the delivery was dropped off. Laughing to myself, I grab a pack of one of the special blends I got in and make a pot of coffee. The smell instantly fills the shop and I almost have to run to the fucking bathroom. I barely manage to hold my shit together as the coffee brews and fills the pot.
When it’s done brewing, I pull out four to-go cups and fill them up. There’s a ton of syrups, creamers, and everything a person could need to make their perfect cup of coffee. Motioning to the counter and cups, all the guys rush over to grab one before doctoring it to what they like. I watch them as they take a sip and see if they like it or not. Tank is the first one to smile once the sip he took is swallowed.
“Will you fuckin’ marry me?” Riggs asks, setting his cup down and getting down on one knee in front of me.
The largest smile is on his face as he looks up at me and I know he’s not serious right now. Kountry, Marco, and Tank all burst out laughing their asses off.
“She doesn’t wanna marry your dumb ass, Riggs. If she marries anyone, it’s gonna be me,” Kountry boldly states, laughter filling his voice.
I laugh along with them until their laughter fades away to nothing. Looking over my shoulder, I see Hawkeye standing in the door of the shop and he’s pissed as fuck. Tank makes a move to step between us and Hawkeye whips his head in his dad’s direction.
“What the fuck is goin’ on here? You’re supposed to be workin’ and I walk in to two of you fuckin’ proposin’ to Tara. That doesn’t look like fuckin’ work is goin’ on to me,” Hawkeye barks out, his voice making me jump it’s so hard and cold.
Hawkeye’s eyes shift to me and they immediately soften. I want to go to him, but there’s no way I can. I’m not about to fucking show him how much he means to me in front of four other guys. Especially when I know it won’t be returned by him. So, for now, I remain where I am and wait to see what’s going to happen.
“We’re workin’, Hawkeye. Tara just got her coffee order in and made us all a cup of coffee. The boys were just showin’ her their appreciation for the coffee. It’s the best fuckin’ coffee I’ve ever tasted in my life. Have a cup and maybe you’ll calm the fuck down. Don’t see what a big deal it is if one of them wanna marry Tara. She’s single as fuck last I knew,” Tank says, stepping up in front of his son.
Tank is so large I can’t even see Hawkeye around him. Hawkeye isn’t a small man either. He’s almost as large as his dad and it’s something to see him seem dwarfed in comparison to Tank.
“I don’t care what’s goin’ on. Tara is only away from the compound to fuckin’ work. You’re with her to protect her. That’s all that should be fuckin’ goin’ on in here. Do you realize that as you’re fuckin’ around and proposin’, the same bike I saw outside her fuckin’ trailer a week ago is parked just down the street. Sittin’ in plain fuckin’ sight and none of you are payin’ attention. Anythin’ could fuckin’ happen to her and you’d all be oblivious,” Hawkeye growls out, his voice causing a tremor of fear to race through me.
“I clocked the bike when it pulled up over an hour ago. The fucker’s been sittin’ there as if we can’t see him. I know for a fact Riggs also saw it because he mentioned it to me without Tara hearin’ about it. She doesn’t need that shit thrown in her fuckin’ face. And if you ever act as if I don’t know what my fuckin’ job is and that I’m not doin’ it again, son, I’ll beat your fuckin’ ass into the ground. I’ve got this girl and she’ll be safe with me. She’ll be safe with all of us. Don’t take your personal shit out on us because you’re too chicken shit to claim your woman. You want Tara, then make her yours. Your past doesn’t have shit to do with this. So stop lettin’ it hold you the fuck back,” Tank says, turning and walking away from his son.
He stops by me and places a kiss on the top of my head. Riggs and Kountry back away from me. Neither man will look in my direction as Hawkeye stalks forward. He stops just in front of me, but doesn’t reach out to touch me. Instead, he hands over a bag and I take it from him.
“Got you somethin’ for lunch. I was out and know you didn’t eat shit for breakfast. Make sure you eat as much of it as you can. Haley made it so it should be okay for your stomach. Pay attention to your surroundin’ and don’t let anyone in this shop. I want this fuckin’ door locked. I just walked right in which means anyone else can too,” he demands, his voice gentle as it washes over me.
“I’ll eat when I’m ready to eat. Not exactly the right time since I just made coffee. Thank you, Hawkeye. Now, you can leave. There’s nothing here for you,” I tell him, turning and giving him my back as I make my way into the kitchen.
