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“I’m okay, Lyric. I’ve been busy with everything going on around here. Plus, I’ve taken a few extra shifts at the diner. You’ve done nothing wrong and there’s nothing you can do because I’m okay,” she lies to me as Shawn watches us.
He doesn’t care who it is, if I’m interacting with anyone, he watches the other person like a hawk. Ricochet was joking with me and I thought Shawn was going to lose his mind because of the things his brother was saying. Now, he’s giving that same look to my sister because he can see she’s lying to me and knows I’m upset for some reason when it comes to her. I’ll have to talk to him once we’re alone again. Or, write things down because that’s where we’re at. No talking for either one of us.
The second we swallow our medicine which I can hardly take through the gaps left, and have our food or smoothie in my case, Paige leaves the room without another word. Yeah, she’s really upset with me and it’s bothering me more than I thought it would.
Trying to push those feelings aside, I drink some of my smoothie before the pain medicine kicks in and we fall asleep again. Shawn is eating as I get lost in my head while taking small sips of my smoothie. I’m still lost in thought when he nudges me and hands the notebook over to me.
What’s going on with Paige? She’s hurting you with her actions and I’m not gonna let it stand, Lyric. You need to be calm and not be stressed out with bullshit. If this is how it’s gonna be with her, she doesn’t need to come in here at all. Someone else can bring in our meals and medicine and she can stay away instead of coming in for two seconds a day just so she can say she’s done her sisterly duty and checked on you. This is something I’ll put my foot down on, princess.
I read his words a few times while I try to think of a way to respond to him that won’t reveal my sister’s secret. I’m not even sure why she keeps it a secret. Not being able to have a baby because of injuries due to an accident isn’t something to be ashamed of. She doesn’t have some kind of disease or anything else. She can’t have children and I know it hurts, but if she let others know, maybe they can help her see that it doesn't mean the end of the world for her. So she can’t have children the normal way. There are still plenty of other ways for her to be a mom and have a family of her own. My sister just won’t let herself see that. Until she’s ready to process everything, she won’t ever be happy. I just hope she doesn’t push Ricochet completely away in the process of her trying to figure out her own life.
She’ll be okay, Shawn. Paige has some things going on and she’s had years to work through them. Unfortunately, she can’t seem to work through what’s been taken from her. I really want to tell you what’s going on with her, but it’s her story and I’m not going to feel as if I’m betraying her by telling you what’s going on. All I know for sure is that she’ll be okay once she lets herself realize she has other options.
Shawn reads my words and looks over to frown at me. I know that’s not the response he wanted or will like. It’s the only one I can give him though. Ricochet needs to know what’s going on with my sister before anyone else. That’s the only way they’ll be able to move forward from this weird phase they're stuck in right now. He writes back and we spend a little bit of time writing back and forth until the medicine kicks in and we start to doze off again.
I make sure to set my smoothie on the nightstand after drinking about half of it. I’ve fallen asleep in the hospital bed with one in hand and it was a complete mess. I had to get cleaned up, my gown had to be changed, and they had to take me out of the bed to change all the sheets and blankets. Maddie took my blanket home and washed it because there was smoothie all over that too. It was a complete mess and I always try to make sure I don’t fall asleep with the smoothie in my hand. Shawn sets his plate on the nightstand next to him and we get as comfortable as we can in bed. The only reason I haven’t completely lost my mind is because we spend over half of our time sleeping thanks to the pain medicine.
Chapter Thirteen
Kevlar
TWO WEEKS IN our fucking room and I’m over it. We’re both over it. I have no clue what the hell we’re gonna do before this is over with. Today though, I get to leave the room and go see Doc. She wants to check my throat since it’s been over three weeks and I still haven’t been talking or anything. I can honestly say my throat feels a lot better and I’m hoping I get cleared to talk again today. It’s gonna suck because my princess still can’t talk, but for me it will be a step forward in the recovery process. Maybe it will get me out of the funk that’s slowly settling over me. Lyric and I are both going crazy and it’s only a matter of time before one of us snaps and loses our cool. I can already see it happening and I have a feeling I’ll be the one to lose my shit before she does.
I’m not used to laying around in bed all day long. From the time I wake up until I fall into bed each night, I’ve always been up and moving around. Even on days I’m not working, there’s always something to do and somewhere to be. I want to be out with the guys searching for the assholes who did this to us. I know Lucifer is the only one left of the men and I didn’t get to take out the two who hurt my girl. Paige ended up telling me everything that she saw happen while they were being held. Even though she didn’t see the first man hit my princess, she did hear about it. He’s the fucker who broke Lyric’s jaw from one hit and I should’ve been the one to take him out. The guys didn’t know how hurt my girl was though and didn’t know who did it after they found the girls locked in that basement room.
My parents are going to stay with Lyric today while Ricochet takes me to see Doc. I know I’ve still got at least three to five weeks left in the cast on my arm. The only reason I’m in a wheelchair right now is because of my fucking ankle and the injury the accident caused to happen. I’m ready to be out of the wheelchair, out of bed, and talking once again. I know Lyric feels the same way but we’re determined to do what Doc tells us to do and if that means laying in bed for the next three to five weeks, that’s what we’re gonna do. I’m not going to leave my girl in the room at the clubhouse herself while I’m in the common room or anywhere else.
“You ready to head out?” Ricochet asks, walking in the room and stopping at the end of the bed.
Nodding my head in response, I turn to face Lyric. She’s awake and sipping on her smoothie. Taking the notebook, I write her a quick note before I leave for my appointment.
I love you, princess. I’ll be back as soon as I can and we’ll try to find a movie or something to watch when I get back. Get some rest and I’ll see you soon.
Handing the notebook over, she looks at what I’ve written and takes the pen in her hand. The only good thing about her having to write everything down is that she can actually use both hands and her writing doesn’t look like something a toddler did. I’m surprised anyone can read anything I’ve been writing over the last few weeks. On a good day when I have use of my dominant hand, my writing is horrible. I’ll be the first one to admit that hardly anyone can read my writing and now it’s even worse. Oh well. This is what has to happen because of those fucking cock suckers.
I love you too, Shawn. I’m hoping Doc lets you start talking again and gives you good news. I go see her in a few days and hopefully we’ll get good news from my appointment too. Have fun with your brother.
With a smile on my face, I let Ricochet help me out of the bed and into the wheelchair. It’s getting easier to go from the bed to the chair and then back again. I’m not saying it’s not a pain in the ass to do, because it is. However, I don’t really need two guys to help me now. That’s always a good thing to see. Just another small step in the recovery process that I rarely take the time to see. There’s just so much more healing left to do and some days that’s all I can think about. I don’t see the progress that’s been made because of everything still wrong. Maybe it will truly mean something to me when I get the damn casts off and can freely move around.
There’s one thing I know for sure from what happened to Lyric and me. Life is too fucking short and I’m done holding back because I don’t want to move too fast or risk pushing her away. Lyric and I are both all in when it comes to our relationship. The second we’re able to get up and move around, I’m taking us to the next step. And with everyone coming down, there’s no time to waste sitting around and overthinking what I want to do. With my mind made up, I know I have to talk to my parents about what I need from them. There’s one important thing I need and my mom has it put up in a safe place. Though, now I’m not sure if it’s still in the home we grew up in or if she bringing it with her when she comes to see us.
Ricochet pushes me out of the room and through the common room. Everyone in there calls out to me and waves. I wave back with a smile on my face because this is my family. They’ve all been here to support Lyric and me and now they’re happy to see me out of the room even if it’s just to make my way out to Ricochet’s truck so I can go to the doctor. It’s a good feeling to know they’re all rooting for us. They want to see us out of the room and mingling with them in the common room or wherever else they are. We’ll get there. It’s just a matter of time before we do.
Doc is impressed with how much progress I’ve made. My throat is almost completely healed and there’s no risk of me bleeding when I talk now. I can’t yell or anything like that, but I can start talking again. Doc also still wants me to eat mainly soft foods and stuff, but I can slowly start adding in harder food to my diet. She just wants me to take everything slow so I don’t open the wounds up again. I have no problem taking things slow at all. Today is a win even if it’s small.
While I was there, Doc also had x-rays done on my ankle and wrist to make sure they’re both healing the way they should be. Thankfully they are and I should only have a few more weeks in the casts before those can come off. I’m ready to get these next few weeks over with as quickly as possible even though it seems as if time has been dragging on and on. Each day seems to go by slower than the last.
Ricochet and I are now on our way back to the clubhouse. There’s something weighing heavily on his mind and it’s time for me to find out what’s going on with him. I need to be there for my brother because I have a feeling it has to do with Paige and whatever the two of them have going on. The second we’re in the truck, I look at him.
“What’s up, Chance? You haven’t been yourself in months. Talk to me about what’s goin’ on,” I tell him, my voice hoarse and more of a growl than anything else after not using it for so long.
“I don’t even know where the fuck to start, Shawn. Paige is fuckin’ awesome. The second I laid eyes on her when Kasey and Lyric were run off the road, I knew she was meant to be mine. That’s why I volunteered to watch over them and that to be my only focus. I wanted to spend as much time with her as possible and learn all of her secrets. She doesn’t make it easy at all to get to know her. I mean she’s close as fuck to Lyric and those two know every secret the other one has. I’m sure Paige knew all about you before anyone else did. That’s just how the girls are and I feel it’s how it should be. Do you know that Paige didn’t leave for college when she was supposed to because of the accident they were in? She stayed behind to take care of her sister and make sure she wasn’t put in foster care. I don't know many other girls that are eighteen who would do that shit for their sister. Or any siblin’ really.
“I can’t remember where you and Lyric were, but you were both gone one day. Paige and I were hangin’ out and we were cookin’ together in the kitchen. She almost fell when she went to reach for somethin’ in one of the higher cabinets. I grabbed her hips and she looked up at me with the most innocent look in her eyes. We were both stuck in the fuckin’ moment and I leaned down to kiss her. We kissed for what felt like hours and it wasn’t enough. Not for either one of us. So, we let things happen. For hours we had sex in her room and only stopped once you and Lyric got back. Paige asked me to keep that shit to myself because she knows you, Hawkeye, and I talk about everythin’ like her and Lyric do. I agreed because I thought it was best at the time. Now I just feel like her dirty little secret,” my brother tells me, his voice showing how upset and rejected he feels.
“Are you still havin’ sex with her? Have you talked at all about what’s goin’ on between the two of you? Tell her what you’re feelin’ and what you want from her. Don’t fuckin’ hold back, Chance. That’s the one thing I’ve learned with this whole situation. Life is too fuckin’ short and I’m done wastin’ time when it comes to Lyric and our relationship,” I ask my brother as he keeps his eyes on the road in front of him.
“I’ve tried to talk to Paige. Every time I bring us bein’ together up, she shuts that shit down quicker than hell. We’re still havin’ sex on a regular basis but that’s all it seems to be for her. I want so fuckin’ much more with Paige. I want it all with her. I want her to be my ol’ lady, my wife, the mother of my kids. I want her to tell me her secrets and just open herself up to let me in. She can’t seem to let me in no matter what I say or do. I don’t know how long I can keep doin’ this shit with her, Shawn,” Ricochet says, his voice practically breaking with everything he’s feeling right now. I can’t even say I blame him.
