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“Would you stop saying that so loud?”
“I didn’t,” she argues with a coil of her lips. “You’re just paranoid. And you won’t cut his massive dick off because you haven’t had any in a while.”
“And I’m so desperate that I can’t contain myself?”
Mia pulls her dark brown hair into a ponytail. “If it was lacking then you wouldn’t have continued.”
“I’m not going to lie and say that Hudson isn’t hot, and I like being fucked by him,” I utter low enough so that Rory doesn’t catch that. “But I’m not a naive idiot either.”
“Alright,” she mutters. “If you don’t think this will all blow up in your face.”
“It’s not. Because we’re not gonna get close like that.”
“And you think having a daughter is a problem?”
“No. It’s just none of his business.”
“You don’t have a problem telling anyone else. In fact, I remember when you told your mom and you were smiling the whole time.”
“That’s because I knew it was going to piss her off.”
“While poor Marshall was shitting his pants.”
“Boy worries about too many things.”
“Says the girl that’s worried about how her fuck buddy will react when he finds out you have a child. Are you afraid he’s going to think you’re a whore?”
I scowl at her. “You’re an ass.”
“I’m just trying to make you see the light so that this doesn’t become a problem.”
“It’s not going to become one.”
Mia gives a weak slap to my shoulder. “Whatever you say, bestie.”
twenty-five
. . .
LIV
“Oh, wow…Mom.” I raise the collared pink sweater in the air to get a better look at it and I wish I hadn’t. It’s fucking awful. “You shouldn’t have.”
“I thought you’d like it.”
Were you high? You couldn’t pay me to put this shit on and walk out in public with it.
“Try it on,” Mom urges, excitement—for some reason—in her tone as I begrudgingly still have it hoisted in the air. “I want to take a picture.”
“Oh, please don’t.” It mindlessly leaves my lips before I can think better of it before I fuddle up with, “I’m a mess.”
“Definitely not a mess.”
Oh, yeah.
I almost forgot about my sister’s stupid attempt to hook me up with her husband’s friend. Let me tell you how much wasted energy she expelled for trying to play matchmaker.
First of all, he has the personality of a kicked puppy. Mom runs him when she asks him during dinner to grab three different things because she forgot them. He’s more proper and calculated than anyone I’ve ever seen in my life and he does that raised pinkie thing with his tea.
