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She met my gaze with a somber expression.
“I wanted her to stop hurting herself,” said Dad. “And, I need you three to see her for who she really is.”
Using the pillows, he sat up straighter and looked around at us. “What I’ve revealed today shouldn’t leave this room. Amhurst Co. belongs to both my children and Victoria’s. Despite what happened between me, Eva and Victoria, the company belongs to the four of you equally. Stop fighting over it and team up. As you can see, I’m already a step closer to the grave. It’s up to you guys now to keep the company running.”
“Don’t say that,” said Milla, squeezing his hands. “I still need you.”
A soft expression came over him. He laid a gentle hand on her head. “How can you not hate me for abandoning you and your mother all those years?”
“You were trying to keep us safe,” said Milla. “How can I hate you for that?”
I watched them quietly.
Deep inside, my heart was shriveling up. The depth of pain I’d inflicted on them was tremendous. It’d take a lifetime to heal the wounds Mom caused them.
“Please, excuse me,” I said, getting to my feet.
“Wait, Noah—” Milla called out.
I didn’t stop. Tears of pain and humiliation burned in my eyes. I had to get out of there before they could see me break down with guilt and misery.
17
Noah
My vision turned hazy because of the tears clinging to my lashes. Milla’s voice rang in my ears but I didn’t stop.
The need to get away from her and everything else propelled me ahead, and suddenly, I realized I was in my car and driving through the exit gateway of St. Nikolas’ parking lot.
I drove through the city streets with a single destination in mind.
The traffic thinned out as the car moved away from the busy downtown area. Gently rolling green hills appeared far ahead and soon, I was driving at top speed through a nearly empty highway.
My breath came out in harsh pants as I tried to rein in my emotions.
Everything that Dad revealed was playing havoc with my mind. I wished it was all a lie but the truth connected all the dots, finally helping me understand our distorted relationship with our dad.
Dad...I still couldn’t think of the man as anything else.
I swiped a hand over my wet eyes as the tops of stone crosses and weeping angels came into my view. The cemetery was only a few minutes away now.
Reaching the parking lot, I grabbed my keys and rushed out of the car.
The cemetery spread out from the roadside and all the way toward the hills surrounding the area. Choosing the path leading to my mom’s grave, I climbed a flight of rough stone steps.
My throat hurt from the choking tears I was holding back. My vision turned hazy again.
Fisting my hands tightly to my sides, I forced myself to move forward.
Reaching Mom’s grave, I collapsed to the ground.
Deep, painful sobs wracked through my body. My fingers grabbed at the dirt and dry grass as I unleashed my emotions before her.
Brian J Amhurst was not my father.
My brothers and I spent all our lives wondering the reason why our father was always so aloof with us, why our relationship with him was always so difficult and strained. He provided us with all the comfort we could ever want but never any warmth.
Your father does not love me, Mom’s voice sounded in my head.He loves his work too much. That’s why he doesn’t have time for us.
