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“H—” I swallow the ball in my throat. “Hey, what are you guys doing here?”
“We’re just here on a date.” Mandy smiles.
My stomach clenches around the fries I ate and roils. It’s an obvious truth, yet she needed to emphasize that this isn’t just a friendly outing. Of course, I interrupted it … again.
“Emmie!” Isabel lunges for Remi.
The great guy he is, he picks her up and swings her high in the air. “How’s my favorite girl?”
Isabel’s giggle is adorable but heartbreaking. Someday, she’ll outgrow having a nanny and he will move on to another family. Just the thought leaves me grief-stricken.
Remi sits next to me with Isabel on his lap. He eats some of our food and then offers some to her, oblivious to the tension building between me and his date.
I’m not that girl. As much as I want this guy, it can’t happen between us. He’s here with another woman. She’s good too. He deserves good.
Wiping my mouth and hands with a napkin, I stand up. “It was really great seeing you guys.” My smile is stiff, but it’s all I can muster. “Come on, Isabel. Let’s let Remi and Mandy enjoy the rest of their date.”
When I reach for my daughter, she clings on to Remi.
“It’s okay. Right, Mandy? We can all hang out. Besides, I want to see this little one take a ride on the kiddie coaster.” He smiles at Isabel, melting my heart and resolve.
This guy will happily halt his date with a beautiful woman just to see my daughter have fun.
I turn to Mandy and mouth, I’m sorry. If I was here with him on a date, there’s no way I’d want to share him with someone else.
Mandy waves her hand off like it’s no big deal, and that’s how I know she’s the better woman for him. She’s kind and generous. While I have my strengths, I am neither of those. I’m a bitch, selfish with her time.
We walk around the park for hours. Remi insists he take Isabel on all the rides and snaps a million pictures—some of her, some of them, and some of us. The first time she went on a ride by herself, I could swear his eyes turned glassy with pride.
“She’s getting so big.”
“It’s amazing how fast they grow,” Mandy chimes in. “Pretty soon, she’ll be off to school full time. When are you enrolling her in preschool, Mae?”
“Not for a while,” Remi answers as he watches Isabel on the kiddie roller coaster like a hawk.
“Excuse me.” I nudge him with my elbow. “She’ll be taking AP calculus next year. We hope to get her into a good university.”
Remi and Mandy laugh. They are easy together, and I wonder how serious they are. They seem like they’ve been dating for a while.
Loneliness hollows my stomach. I wonder if I’ll ever have that.
“Funny, but you’re going to wait until she’s ready, right?” There’s some kind of desperation in his eyes, almost like he’s asking for reassurance.
“Yeah, of course. But except for potty training, she’s done everything early. So, who knows?”
The ride stops, and Remi jogs to pick up Isabel from the cart. He’s not on duty, but yet he seems like he is. Maybe caregiving is in his blood and he can’t help himself. Isabel’s talking to him a mile a minute, and he listens with rapt attention.
“He’s going to be a great father someday,” Mandy says, drawing my interest away from them. She’s looking at him with hearts in her eyes, and for some reason, I want to cover them. I don’t like her looking at him like that.
But it’s okay for you to do it? I do not.
“Yeah, he’s great with Isabel.” Shifting my gaze toward Remi, a small smile forms on my face but then drops. “Have you two been together long?” I’m making conversation, not fishing for information.
“We’re new, but it feels like we’ve known each other forever.” She smiles dreamily at them, then turns to me. “Some things are just meant to be.”
“Right.” I don’t mean to sound cynical, but it’s better than vomiting all over the place. Why am I being like this?
“I big girl,” Isabel announces, raising her chubby little arms in the air.
