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As the rainy spring evaporates into summer, the sun isn’t blocked by heavy clouds as much and the city parks come alive with activity.
“What do you think, Isabel, you want to go to the festival?” We had an easy Saturday morning, and I’m dressing her so we can go out for the day.
“Yeah!” She jumps, raising her arms so I can put her shirt on. “Emmie?”
“No, sweetie, Remi is off.” After her head pops through the collar of her shirt, I smooth it back. “Your hair is crazy today.” I boop her nose, and we laugh.
“Caw Emmie?” She’s a persistent little shit.
But I get it because I feel his void too. The house feels homier when he’s here. “Maybe later. Let’s go play some games first, deal?” I hold out my hand, and her little chubby one takes it.
“Deah.” She nods.
Well, that was easier than expected.
Twenty minutes later, we stroll into the festival at Centennial Park. There are bouncy houses, carnival games, face painting, and small rides. It smells like sunshine and yummy food. My stomach grumbles.
“You want some French fries, Isabel?”
“Yeah,” she squeals.
I don’t usually feed her fried food, but this is a special occasion.
While standing in line, a creepy-crawly feeling skitters down my back, and I have an odd
feeling I’m being watched. Pulling Isabel’s stroller closer to me, I look around, but I don’t see anyone or anything out of the ordinary.
“Can I take your order? Miss?” The food truck guy is trying to get my attention, but my spidey senses are on alert.
I place my order and then look around again. Either something is off or I’m being paranoid. Considering the stress I’ve been dealing with lately, I’ll go with paranoia.
When our order is ready, we go and sit under the dine-in tent. There are many tables set up and people around. I feel less exposed here. I don’t know what is going on, but I’m not going to let my worry ruin this beautiful day with my daughter. Winter seemed like it lasted five years instead of five months.
“Fwy, Mama.” Isabel makes grabby gestures with her hands, and I give her a soft French fry.
“Chew it good, sweetie.”
Her eyes grow big and she grins wide, showing all her baby teeth. She’s too cute. “Good.”
I giggle. “Sure is.”
“ Emmie!” she shouts, and I give her another fry so she gets her mind off the nanny.
“Honey, I told you… We’ll call him later, okay?”
She pushes my hand away and looks around me. “Emmie!”
“Shhh, Isabel. He’s not here.”
“Who’s not here?”
I swing my head around and my eyes drag down his form, taking in every inch of him like he’s a mirage and going to disappear any moment. Remi is classic, wearing a plain white V-neck stretching deliciously across his chest and dark denim jeans, faded in all the right places. With black Ray Bans sitting perfectly on his face, he looks like James Dean reincarnated.
It’s only been a day, but my heart leaps as if he’s been missing for decades. I want to run into his arms and bury my nose in his neck. The need shocks me.
The leaping organ plummets to the ground when I see Mandy’s hand wrapped around his arm. He’s not alone.
“Hi.” She gives me a weak wave. While her smile is pleasant, it does nothing to tamper the hot streak of jealousy scorching through my chest.
