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I now understand Adele’s mood in Rolling in the Deep. My tirade amps with a frustrated howl, and more breakable things are thrown.
When there are no more plates to shatter, I survey the mess with maniacal laughter. What the hell is wrong with me?
Sliding down the wall, I hang my head to my knees and crack wide open.
Chapter 21
Give Me All Your Worries
Remi
Just keep walking. You can leave her for one night.
Climbing in my car, I start the engine. The draw to go back to Mae is strong, but I need to preserve my heart. I’m fucking crazy about her, and the more time I spend with her, the worse it’s going to be for me when she decides she’s had enough fun. Enough of me.
I’m not going to tell my sister. What’s the point? All it would do is get her pissed at me and remove Isabel from my care. I promised that little girl I’d always be there for her. It’s the one thing I won’t mess up.
But even if Kiara would be okay with my relationship with Mae, what type of future could we have, anyway? What the hell was I even thinking? She’d still be footing the bill for Isabel’s care. It’s my only source of income and if I don’t have that, I have nothing to offer a woman like Mae. Someone who deserves an equal. Someone she can find common ground with. Even though she doesn’t need it, she deserves a man who could financially support them if anything ever happens to Ever Heart.
I’m not that man. Unless you go back to medical school. I can’t believe the thought entered my mind.
Your father would gladly welcome you back in the fold. My chest tightens. I want to be as far from “the fold” as possible. Even if it meant having Mae? The devil’s advocate has a point. I’d do anything to have her, to be worthy of her.
When I pull up next to my apartment building, I don’t have the desire to turn the car off, so I sit there, looking at the darkness of my place. It’s sparse.
Lonely.
Cold.
Just like my life without Mae and Isabel.
I hate it.
Without another thought, I throw Aretha in reverse and she squeals out a u-ey.
Mae asked me to stay. She had a shit day and asked me to be there for her.
I fucking bailed because I can’t handle my stupid feelings. When did I become a moody asshole?
I hightail it to Grayson Street, to the modest brick house with my two favorite people on Earth inside. I dial Mae to give her a heads-up, but she doesn’t answer. It only makes me more anxious to see her. She seemed okay when I left, but something clouded her gorgeous green irises. Despondency, maybe.
I punch the steering wheel, and the horn fires, cursing me as I’m cursing myself. Dammit, I can’t believe I left her like that.
I whip into her driveway and almost rip my door off getting out of the car. Running up to the back entrance, I hear the most awful, keening sound. Sobs—loud and piercing—slice through my chest and rip out my heart.
I shove my key into the deadbolt and yank the door open. My stomach drops to the concrete at the sight before me.
Shards of glass cover every surface of the floor. My queen is crouched in the corner, bawling, as broken as the glass surrounding her.
“Jesus Christ.” Bile sears up my throat. I can’t believe I left her. Grief-stricken, my limbs turn too heavy for my weak bones.
It’s absolute destruction. Glass crunches like gravel under my shoes as I make my way to Mae. It seems as if it takes forever to get to her, but when I do, I wrap my arms around her and pull her onto my lap, resting her body against my chest.
“Shh,” I soothe like I would a child.
She digs her nose into my shoulder and melts against me, choking on her sorrow.
“I’m so sorry, baby,” I croak, my throat crimped tight. I shower her temple with butterfly kisses, trying to comfort her through it. “Why didn’t you say something?”
