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I run after them. “Don’t go, please. I’m so sorry. You said you wouldn’t leave me.”
They whirl around. “I’m not leaving you. Christ, Mae. You’re my fucking soul mate. What don’t you get about that?”
I sniff. “You have Ian.”
They sneer. “This again? Yes, I fell in love with someone. I’m crazy about him. What a goddamn crime.” Their eyes are red-rimmed. “But our bond” — Jay flicks a finger between us — “is on a cosmic level. And you just shit all over it. If you’ll excuse me, I need some space from you.” They walk out my door before they slam it.
I jump at the sound. It ricochets off the four walls and shatters my heart.
Remorse rips through me. Why in the hell did I lash out at the one person who loves me more than themselves? Because you know they’d never leave you. My chin quivers. I don’t deserve them, nor the pedestal they put me on.
Slumping in my chair, I wallow and replay the conversation in my head. If I would have just talked to Jay like an adult, we wouldn’t be at odds right now. I have the emotional maturity of my two-year-old sometimes. The thought cuts me deep and shame seeps out, covering my skin in slimy regret.
For the next hour, I can do nothing but look out the window to the horizon. Something that used to look so bright is now gloomy.
The soft swish of my door opening is like the thrill of a new day. I swing around to confront it.
“Jay, I’m so…” It’s Elliot with lunch. “Thanks, E. You can just set it on my desk. Jay’s in their office, if you don’t mind delivering theirs.” I don’t recognize the weakness in my voice.
“Everything okay, Mae?” Concern etches Elliot’s blue eyes.
I give him a sad smile. “Not really. But I want to tell you how proud I am of you. You did an amazing job in that conference room today.” Bashful, he stares at the floor. “I’m serious. I froze, and you jumped right in without missing a beat. I’m so grateful to be able to work with you.”
He smiles. “Me too. I learned from the best, Mae.” Elliot gives my arm a small squeeze before leaving me with my chicken salad.
His words echo in my mind, and I snap a bitter laugh. I used to think I was the best, but these days … I’ve only been at my worst.
Remi
Before I start dinner, I settle Isabel in the pack ‘n play in the living room because I like to keep an eye on her. I’ve never met a toddler that slept so soundly. When she’s out, an earthquake won’t wake her—pots and pans clattering are probably more like white noise to her than anything else.
At this age, she should be sleeping in a toddler bed. I’m surprised she hasn’t attempted to climb out of her crib, and the thought of that possibility terrifies me. Most likely, Mae has been so busy she hasn’t had time to reconfigure the bed. I’m going to offer to set it up because I’d love to help. I want to be a part of this milestone. I want to be there for all of them.
Setting up the emulsifier, I add all the ingredients for the salad dressing. I want to make Mae something special tonight, to subtly tell her how I feel. On the menu: Green Goddess Salad, Marry Me Chicken, and Italian Love Cake. I’m many things—cheesy is one of them.
Turning on some muted music, I dance around the kitchen. I’m going to knock Mae’s panties off with this meal. My phone rings, interrupting the Taylor Swift song I was jamming to.
“Hello, beautiful,” I answer, breathless and happy. A smile immediately forms on my face.
“Hey.” She sounds tired. Defeated. The impulse to go to her is strong. “Can you stay a little later tonight? I’m sorry. I hate asking, but…”
My heart sinks to my feet. I eye all the ingredients on the kitchen island and decide to make it anyway. I can feed it to her when she gets home. Whatever time that may be.
“It’s fine. Are you okay?”
“Yes. No. There’s just a lot of shit going on at work, and I need to take care of it.” There’s no mistaking the tension in her voice.
“I have everything handled here. You focus on work, but when you get home, you’re mine.” I add a hint of wickedness, hoping it will make her smile. I’m going to tell her just how much I want her.
“I look forward to that. You have no idea how much.” Her sultry voice wraps around my dick and squeezes.
“Yeah? I’m going to make you—”
“Listen, I have to go. Thanks again, Remi.”
Click.
“Anytime,” I whisper into dead air.
