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I hold onto Victoria and whisper, “Go home, sweetheart. Be with your son and Luca. Live life like your dad and grandfather did.”
Her chest shakes against mine, and I pull away from her.
“I love you, Mom.”
“I love you, too.”
My twins wait for me outside. I know they thought I’d blame them, but the truth is I can’t blame Mason for going against Leo’s orders. He was trying to save his brother, my son. I’ve always trusted my husband and my sons to think and act in the moment when they’ve been with the club. Deep down, Iknow Ricky wouldn’t have purposefully put himself in a position where he ended up dead.
Taking one of their hands in each of mine, I squeeze as hard as possible to show them I’m down, but I’m not out.
“Don’t stay here drinking all night, you have families that need their beds.”
“We won’t,” they say simultaneously.
“Your dad was so proud of you both. He’ll be watching from now on, consumed with pride for you both.”
They both hang their heads. An act that reminds me of when they were kids and found themselves in trouble stood in front of me or Rick. Or their grandfather.
“Look at me, boys.” I wait till they lift their chins. “We will be okay. All of us.”
“That’s what I said to Victoria earlier. Felt like a lie then,” Myles murmurs.
“It’s not a lie. It’s the way it is. Just remember, you are your father's sons. He’s always going to be with you.”
“We’re more worried about you, Mom,” Mason says.
“You don’t need to be.”
Myles pulls his hand from mine and pulls an envelope from his inside cut pocket.
“We found letters from Grumps to us while we were clearing out his room. We’ve read ours, and we’re gonna give Victoria hers soon. This one is for you, and this was for Dad.”
I take them both and slide them into my purse. They are words for when I’m in private.
Alannah pulls up beside us, and I take a deep breath.
“Before you go, Grumps has left his cash to Victoria. He told Dad he knew where it was stashed away, but obviously, Dad ain’t here. Do you know where it is?”
I smile. “You’ll find a quarter of it under your decking,” I tell Mason, then to Myles, “Under your shed in your backyard.There’s a loose floorboard. Lift it and dig. Another is buried under mine and Dad’s patio and the last of it is buried at Victoria’s, the house he gave her. It’s by the tree where he built you a treehouse.”
“When the fuck did he bury shit in my yard without me noticing?” Mason quips.
I can’t help but smile again. “You know your grandfather. He could be everywhere and nowhere all at the same time.”
I kiss each of my sons on their cheeks and climb into the passenger seat of Alannah’s car.
“Are you ready?”
“Yes.”
The drive home is a blur of emotions yet a crystal clear reality of no one being there at the same time.
It’s not until Lana stops outside the front she speaks. “Victoria said you’ve told them you don’t want anyone checking on you till you’re ready. I won’t go against your wishes and show up. But I am going to leave you a cooked dinner on the porch every night and groceries. I’ll even leave you bottles of wine.”
“Thank you, Lana. I don’t know where I would’ve been without you over the last couple of weeks.”
“Hey, you’d do the same for me. Do you remember when you first started to mingle with the club? You were like a fish out of water…”
