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“One last thing, brother, don’t fuck this up.”
Ignoring Myles's abundance of advice, I climb out of the truck and meet Angel by the back door. Myles follows behind, and we do the whole manly hug thing. He offers his condolences, but I don’t have time for it tonight. He means well, and I respect it enough not to brush him off.
“Where is she?”
“In the bar.”
Myles hangs back with Angel, and I walk through the kitchen and into the bar. She’s sat with Max and Trey, and whatever Max is saying, it’s making her laugh. It gnaws at me, but I’m not blind to the dark circles buried beneath her eyes or how she holds herself like she’s protecting herself from the world.
“Sorry about your dad and grandfather.”
Blinking, I look at Warren behind the bar. His voice gets Aspen’s attention, and her chest rises with a gasp at my arrival.
“Thanks.”
I wait where I am while she walks over, a frown marring her face.
“What are you doing here?”
“We need to talk. Will you give me five minutes?”
She nods. “We can talk in my room.”
I follow her up a set of stairs and down a long hall. Her room is depressing as fuck. It’s probably the worst she’s ever stayed in. Guilt begins to seep into my soul.
I close the door and lean against it. She sits on the bed. Silence hangs heavily over us until I clear my throat.
“I’ve treated you like shit, not just this week but for a while. I’m here to apologise and, if needs be, beg you to come home. A simple apology isn’t enough, but the reason for my behaviour change is something I will take to my grave. I know it’s asking a lot after everything I’ve put you through, but I’m asking you to trust me. That I thought what went down would permanently change me. I don’t know how, but it hasn’t. I see that now.”
Confusion is evident on her face, and it eats at me that I’m making her feel this way.
“Does Myles know?”
“Yeah, but it’s not like I don’t trust you with it. I don’t want you to know and look at me differently. Once it’s said, it can never be unsaid.”
She looks away from me. “I wasn’t making it a competition between me and your brother. I’m glad that if you can’t talk to me about it, you at least have someone.”
I push away from the door and sit beside her.
“Babe, I promise I will make this right between us. Do you think you can forgive me?”
She meets my eye and holds it steady. “I need to know how you feel about the babies first. You’ve been very vocal…”
Cutting her off, I say, “I’ve seen brothers around the club with their kids, Myles with Pen and Tommy, but I have no fuckin’ idea how to be a dad… but I’m going to try. I want to be a dad to our children, and it’s scaring me silly.”
She takes hold of my hand and tells me, “I am, too. I haven’t done this before. But I know if I have you, we can do anything. That’s what I’ve believed since I met you.”
Fuck, she’s killing me. I’ve let her down much worse than I thought.
“Can we come back from this? Cause if I’ve messed it up beyond repair, I’ll hate myself for the rest of my life.”
She pulls her hand back and rests it on my cheek. Her soft, warm skin on mine.
“We have a lot more to talk over, but there’s nothing we can’t fix together. Nothing.”
I slam my lips onto hers. Sliding my hand around the back of her head, I draw her even closer to me and deepen the kiss. It was hard to touch her when I got home from prison. I couldn’t bear it, forcing myself to do so, but at the same, I couldn’t have her out of my sight. She kept the small part of me grounded when I thought my chest was going to explode.
“Do you want to see something?” she asks, pulling away from me.
