Page 54 of Land of Ashes


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“Ash…” she warned.

“Sleep.” I tucked her into me, my whole body relaxing into hers, feeling warm and comfortable. The contentment I had been searching for. A life raft. Hearing and feeling the exhale coming from her, I nuzzled my face into her silky brown hair and let go.

Falling happily into chemical-induced slumber.

Sleep took me so wholly, I didn’t stir once. Not one nightmare or panic attack. I drifted quietly from sleep, not hulled out like a shotgun. Groaning with satisfaction, I stretched my limbs, memories of the night before trickling back to me. Getting off. Shower. Getting into bed with Scarlet.

My lids popped open, realizing I was alone in bed—and naked. I crawled in with Scarlet with just a towel on, hadn’t I?

Dull morning light streamed through the attic window, my attention landing on Scarlet, sitting in the single chair, facing me, her knees tucked up to her chest, her arms wrapped around her legs.

“Hey.” I grabbed the sheet, tugging it with me as I sat up. The towel I went to bed with was in a ball at the end of the bed.

Her eyes drifted away, her throat swallowing. The energy in the room shifted, becoming awkward and tense.

“We probably should go.” She dropped her legs down. “It’s late.” She stood up. “Your clothes were in the hallway when I got up earlier.” She motioned to the pile of fabric on the nightstand. “I’ll let you change so we can leave.” She turned for the door.

“Hey.” I lunged forward, grabbing her hand and tugging her back to face me. My knees on the bed, I covered my lower half, denying how my dick hardened at the touch. “Wait.”

“What?” She shifted on her feet, annoyed.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She fidgeted, and I knew she was lying. “We need to get on the road.”

“What’s your hurry?” I tipped my head, scanning her.

“I thought you were the one who wanted to leave early.” She tucked a strand behind her ear, the hair I knew smelled like the almond shampoo Anca had. I’d been inhaling the scent all night.

“I did.” I frowned. “You’re just acting weird.”

She fidgeted again, twisting her ring as she always did when she was agitated.

“Are you mad at me?”

“Mad?” She huffed out in a strange laugh.

“Then what?” I waited.

“You left me in this room, as though I were some twelve-year-old, while you went downstairs to get your dick sucked,” she spat.

I jerked, almost dropping the sheet, sharper memories of the night streaming back to me.

“Were you spying on me?”

“Spying?” She huffed. “I didn’t need to. It was out for all to see.” She waved an arm around. “I can leave the room if I want to. I’m not a child.”

“But you saw…” My throat grew thick, recalling tossing that harlot’s blue wig to the ground, and getting rock hard at her brown locks, the hazy notion it washersucking me off instead. Did she see that? Did she figure out what I was thinking?

My tongue slid over my bottom lip, her focus drifting to my mouth. I dropped the arm I was still holding, peering down at the bed we shared.

What the fuck was happening to me? I couldn’t stop fucking up. Touching and being inappropriate with her. I crossed lines.

“Do what you want, I don’t care, but to come in here after and climb into bed with me?” She gestured to my naked body.

“Fuck.” I ran my hand down my face, my stomach knotting at my actions. “I’m sorry. I completely overstepped boundaries here.” I wasn’t thinking beyond my need to sleep next to her.

“No, that’s not…” She tapered off, shaking her head. “It’s fine. It’s nothing.” She grabbed her bag, wincing at the pain in her ribs. “Let’s go.”

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