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????to your sarcasm
What do you have to lose?
What’s the worst that could happen?
Cass
Feelings.
Although, it’s a little too late for me to be worried about catching feelings for him. I’m the one wide awake, watching him sleep like a weirdo while I tell my best friend about all the times he made me come in one night. That’s not even the worst of it, either. Like a creepy stalker, I took a photo of him earlier because he smiles in his sleep. Who does that?
Suni
So?
It’s not like there’s no chance of you seeing each other again.
He lives HERE!
What are the chances?
It’s got to be fate, right?
Cass
You’re as bad as him.
Suni
I like him.
You sound like you again.
Cass
You can’t hear me.
Suni
You know what I mean FUCK-FACE!
I do, and it scares me to think that at any point, Leif could take that away. Since I was a baby, people have abandoned me. My mother walked out on me and Dad, an aneurysm took her mum away in my first week of school, gallbladder cancer took my aunt, and then Dad left me, too. Everyone I’ve ever cared about is gone. Maybe not my mother—I’ve never cared much for her—but for all I know she could be dead too.
Suni
I love you SUCK-FACE ??
Call you later.
The text comes as a reminder that I still have Sunita, and it eases the sudden weight crushing my chest.
Cass:
Love you ??
I put the phone down on the bedside table and go back to watching Leif. I don’t know how long I stay like this, admiring the way his long lashes curl naturally, and how the natural set of his mouth has a happy quirk to it. But, eventually, the urge to touch him gets the better of me, and as I lightly trace the handsome lines of his face, my chest caves in on itself little by little.
If what I feel for him now has the ability to crush me at the thought of leaving him tomorrow morning, what’s going to happen when I actually do leave?
