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I followed behind as he pushed open a door I hadn’t noticed before. The cool air hit us as we stepped onto a deck that overlooked the back of the property. White rocking chairs and heaters lined the space, and the railing was wrapped with garland and lights.
Sebastian shut the door behind us, shrugged off his suit jacket, and wrapped it around my shoulders. His familiar scent of spice with a hint of evergreen engulfed me.
“I didn’t know this was here,” I said as I held the jacket closed.
“Heath showed it to me when he gave me the tour,” Sebastian said as he scrutinized me. “How are you feeling?”
“It was hot in there.” I’d wanted space, but now he was here, standing closer than before. It was hard to draw in a deep breath.
Sebastian put his hand on my shoulder and ushered me closer to the railing. “Look, it’s snowing.”
I held one hand out as fat flakes fell from the sky and into my hand. Enraptured with the white fluff on my palm, I said, “It’s beautiful.”
I shivered, and Sebastian moved closer, his chest a wall of heat against my back. I wanted to sink into him and watch the snow come down. But it didn’t seem appropriate. Not when he was just a friend.
He lowered his head so that he could watch the flakes land in my hand. “I should call Ember out here.”
But neither of us moved. It was as if time was suspended. The music filtered through the windows, but out here, it was just us and the falling snow. There was a hushed quality, as if we shouldn’t speak.
“Thank you for coming tonight,” he whispered across the shell of my ear, causing me to tremble.
I turned slightly so that I could see his face. “Ember invited me.”
Sebastian glanced down at me, concern etched in his brows. “Are you sure you’re okay with living with us and helping me out with her after work and on the weekends?”
“I love Ember. You know I don’t mind watching her.”
Sebastian pulled me close to him so that I was leaning against his body. “I’m so lucky to have you in my life.”
His words flamed my desire for him, which always simmered just below the surface. There was a part of me that longed for Sebastian to do things for me because he wanted to spend time with me, and he was attracted to me. Not because he felt obligated as a friend.
“I feel the same way. The only thing is, I haven’t told my family I’m living with you. They’re going to ask what my plans are for the future.”
“We can tell them we’re roommates. It’s convenient since I’ll be working late during the holidays and tax season.”
“And I need a place to live.” I’d searched for other arrangements, but I needed a roommate to afford the apartments closer to my school.
“It’s a mutually beneficial arrangement.”
“It’s a win-win,” I said, but the words felt flat to me. I was Sebastian’s best friend, the first person he called when he needed help with Ember, but I wanted to be more. I wanted him to see me as a woman, not just as a friend.
“Now, what were you saying inside about your New Year’s resolution?” His words tickled my ear.
“It’s time for me to meet someone. I need to make a real effort this time.” I tended to go out with a few guys and then give up, claiming there were no good men out there. Mainly because I’d already met the one I wanted to give my heart to. If only he felt the same way. But I couldn’t wait around any longer.
It was pathetic to harbor a crush on Sebastian for so long. Now I was living with him and taking care of his daughter; the pitying looks would only increase.
“I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“That’s part of dating, right? You put yourself out there and hope the other person feels the same way.” I was still leaning on Sebastian, his warmth heating me more than his suit jacket. I didn’t want to pull away from him physically or emotionally, but it was time.
The only thing that made me hesitate was that I hadn’t told Sebastian how I felt. But I was worried it would ruin everything. Our friendship, my relationship with Ember and his family. I couldn’t risk it.
I stepped away from him, turning to face him, the cool air nipping at my exposed chest and legs. I tightened his jacket around me as if I could ward off the cold. My heart raced in my chest. “If you’re home in the evenings, I might go out with friends or even on a date.”
Sebastian stiffened. “You don’t work for me. You are free to go out.”
He wasn’t paying me to watch Ember, but he was giving me a place to live rent-free. “This arrangement will work for both of us.”
