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He dipped his head slightly and lowered his voice. “I can’t complain.”
I had so many questions. Did he want to dance with me? Was he enjoying this as much as I was? The entire room smelled like evergreens from the number of trees around the perimeter of the room. There was a large one in the center of the dance floor, decorated with large ornaments and ribbon. It was quite possibly the grandest tree I’d ever seen.
“Do you have any trees left on the farm?” I asked him, nodding my head in the direction of the numerous trees.
He chuckled, and it rumbled through my chest, making me feel off-kilter.
I wanted to move closer to him. I wanted to put my hands around his neck and press my body against his. But this was a formal dance, and Sebastian was my friend, not my date.
“I don’t get involved in the planting or the growing of the trees. That’s mainly Knox and Heath. What I do know is that Heath will do anything to make Marley happy.”
“That’s sweet.” I couldn’t imagine a love like that. This feeling I’d been harboring for Sebastian all my life was based on our friendship. I had no way of knowing what would happen if we took that step, and it was scary.
Sebastian led me around in a circle, and for a few minutes, he blocked out everything else, along with the sound of the cello and the twinkling of the lights. “I recently found out Marley and Heath dated a bit in high school. They kept their relationship a secret, but I have a feeling it was quite serious.”
“They dated in high school?” We were younger than both of them, and I didn’t hang in the same circle as the Monroe brothers. They were athletic teens, and the girls naturally gravitated toward them.
But Sebastian was different. He didn’t play sports, other than tennis, and he wasn’t interested in girls. He liked school. We’d hang out a lot at his house under the guise of studying. And that’s what we did, but I spent more time gazing at his beautiful face and analyzing every word that came out of his mouth. He was an innocent schoolgirl’s crush.
My parents were never concerned about us hanging out together, and maybe that should have been my first clue that he wasn’t interested in me. If no one else saw the potential for anything, why would Sebastian?
“You have any plans for the new year besides spending time with me?” Sebastian flashed a charming grin, his dimple popping, and my entire body heated.
I wished more than anything I was living with him for real. That we were a couple, that he’d do anything for me, like Heath did for Marley. But that wasn’t a possibility for us. Once you were in the friend zone, there was no getting out of it. “Not really.”
My life was predictable. I taught language arts at the elementary school in Annapolis. I blogged my thoughts and ideas for education on the side and sold various worksheets and programs online. I didn’t make a lot of money, but I loved working with children, and I enjoyed my job. Recently, I wondered about moving from a teaching position to a reading specialist one. I was reluctant to leave the classroom, but I wondered if I could do more good in a specialized position.
“You don’t have a dream you want to pursue or an interest you haven’t spent time on?” Sebastian continued.
Just you. I’d been singularly focused on Sebastian since we met in eighth grade. It was right before he hit puberty, grew tall, and filled out. I kept waiting for him to notice girls, but he hadn’t. The downside of that was, he hadn’t noticed me either.
“You spend so much time with me and Ember. I worry about you.”
This time, my cheeks flushed for a different reason. I was embarrassed. “You don’t need to worry about me. My New Year’s resolution is to start dating again.”
Sebastian stilled, and we stopped moving in a circle, even as the other dancers flitted around us, laughter and conversation surrounding us. “Are you serious?”
I shrugged as nonchalantly as I could, as if I hadn’t just given up on Sebastian finally noticing me. My heart pounded in my chest. “I’m eager to get back out there.”
He started moving us again, this time slower, and I felt his gaze on my face. “I didn’t realize you were eager to meet someone.”
My mouth suddenly dry, I said, “I’m twenty-seven. I want to get married and have a few kids. You know I’ve always wanted a family.”
Sebastian swallowed hard. “I didn’t realize it was something you wanted in your life right now.”
“I’m not getting any younger. Women have a biological clock, you know, and mine’s ticking.” I wasn’t being entirely truthful. I did want a family and kids, but I wasn’t feeling pressured to have kids now. It was more that I wanted to stop pining after my best friend, especially since we were going to be living together.
I saw the sympathetic looks his family gave me. Everyone knew about my crush. Did Sebastian? Did he feel sorry for me? That didn’t sit right with me. I felt hot all over and slightly clammy.
“Are you okay?” Sebastian asked.
“I think I need some fresh air.” I looked around, desperate for a way to escape his scrutiny.
Sebastian’s gaze roamed the room, and I was positive he was checking to ensure one of his brothers or his mom had Ember, and then he gripped my hand tightly in his and led the way across the floor.
“Where are we going?” I wanted to tell him that I needed space from him. That he couldn’t just take me wherever he wanted to.
He squeezed my hand and said over his shoulder, “To get you some fresh air.”
