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Then he pushed the water button, and we both waited for the glass to fill. When it was full, I quickly turned, realizing he stood unbearably close.
He flashed me a smile with his dimple showing and said, “If I haven’t said it already, I love having you here. It’s like a slumber party with my best friend.”
He moved to the stove, and I was finally able to draw in a deep breath. I drank the water, hoping it would simultaneously cool my throat and the blood pumping hot and heavy through my veins.
I moved to the stool and wondered how I’d survive the next few weeks. I could hide in my room and escape to the library in town with an excuse that I needed to grade papers. Start volunteering at the local animal shelter. I needed something to keep me busy and out of Sebastian’s cabin.
“Don’t forget, you promised to help decorate the tree and spend the day with us. Later, we’ll go over to the main house for dinner. Mom will want you there.”
“I hadn’t realized.”
He turned and braced his hands on the counter, leaning in. “You don’t mind, do you? I want you to have the full Monroe experience while you’re here.”
My entire body flushed again. Either I was going through early menopause, or it was Sebastian having this unexpected effect on me. Maybe I was just hyperaware of my attraction to him now that we were living together. It had to ease up over time, wouldn’t it?
Then my mind wandered to thoughts of what he meant by the full Monroe experience. Was he talking about the family or him? If he’d dated over the years, he’d never discussed it with me. So, I didn’t know if he was a one-night stand kind of guy or more of a relationship guy. Either way, I hadn’t witnessed it for myself. I forced myself to ask the question. “What does that entail?”
His dimple flashed again as he smiled wide. “I want to give you a tour of the farm. Maybe you can bring Ember to the shop and help there. We could rent a carriage from the neighboring farm and show you around. There’s a pond past Heath’s house, and all the paths are lit with lights. Maybe tonight, after dinner?”
“That sounds lovely.” Why had I so easily agreed to a carriage ride through the woods? I was supposed to be keeping my distance.
“Perfect.” He winked at me and then removed the pancakes from the stove, stacking them onto a plate and pouring another batch into the pan.
I went to the fridge, intending to get the maple syrup, but stood in the open door, allowing the cool air to drift over my skin. Unfortunately, my nipples were hard points and clearly visible through my bra. This is how I reacted to Sebastian Monroe. How had I ever thought it was a good idea to move in with him? It only highlighted my crush and the contrast with how he felt about me.
A slumber party with his best friend? That’s not what I was feeling. Not even close.
He didn’t feel the same way, and as crushing as that realization was, nothing had changed. I needed to move on, and quickly. Or this situation was going to get awkward fast.
CHAPTER 4
SEBASTIAN
My plan was working.
Hanna seemed flustered. She kept talking about how hot it was in the kitchen. I turned down the heat, but her skin was still flushed, and she’d pulled her hair into a messy bun on the top of her head. It only made me want to run my nose along the column of her bare neck and suck on her sensitive skin.
She had me all twisted up inside. I hoped she felt the same.
We ate pancakes at the small round table in the kitchen, and the girls watched TV while I cleaned up the mess.
Hanna had offered to help, but I wanted to take care of her. I wanted her to feel pampered while she was here. It was the least I could do for the assistance she was giving me. A live-in nanny who was also my best friend? It couldn’t be a better situation for me, other than the attraction that only seemed to worsen while she was here.
When the kitchen was cleaned up, I watched them on the couch. I heard the soft murmur of their voices the way Ember had cuddled into Hanna’s side, as if she’d always lived with us. My heart squeezed at how close they were, how much I felt for Hanna, and how much I wanted this to work.
There hadn’t been any talk of dating, so I hoped she’d tabled that idea until January. I needed some time to work on this situation between us, to show her how life could be with me, on the farm, and how good I suspected we could be together.
“Can we decorate the tree now, Daddy?” Ember asked.
“Let me grab the decorations.” I disappeared down the steps to the basement, hoping the cool air would feel good. But Hanna followed me a few seconds later.
“I figured you needed help,” she said when she found me next to a stack of boxes labeled Christmas.
Mom had provided each one of us with a few boxes of decorations for our houses. I figured she hoped we’d catch the Christmas spirit. When I lived in town, I decorated a small fake tree for Ember’s benefit.
I sifted through the boxes and handed her one that was light. Then I stacked a few in my arms and followed her upstairs. Her pajamas hugged her ass, and I wasn’t seeing any panty lines. Was she naked underneath, or was she wearing a thong? I was dying to know what kind of secrets she was hiding under her clothes. Au natural, lace, or satin?
I nearly groaned out loud. It was torture having her here. Why had I told her about pajama day? I should have gotten dressed and pretended it wasn’t our Sunday tradition. Because seeing her soft and messy made me want to dirty her up.
