AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I don't know.” I breathe, walking on shaky legs to sit beside him on the sofa. My hands grip at the crushed velvet on either side of my legs. “I need to get rid of it.”
Steve abruptly stands up and points a finger at me. “You’ll do no such thing.”
“I have too,” I say, still planted on the sofa.
He shakes his head, takes the remaining steps to the bag and squats down in front of it. “I’ll do it.”
“No,” I say absolutely. “This is on me.” I get up and follow to where he’s retrieving the horrid thing and holding it in his hands. Too comfortably for my liking.
He gets to his feet and puts a beefy hand on my shoulder. “This isn't on you. Let me handle it.” He strides straight into the kitchen and starts cleaning it with a cloth.
“Steve, I'm doing it. We're not arguing about this.”
He pauses for a second, looks up from the gun and makes a resigned face. “Fine. You can drive.”
I try not to look so relieved but I am. I know it's my job but I don't want to touch that thing again. I swear I can still feel the weight between my fingers from earlier. Julius stays curled on the sofa whilst we both head out to my car and he starts directing me to Putney embankment. Neither of us speaks. I’m so wrapped up in my own brain that I don't have any words. I can only imagine Steve is the same. Once I've parked the car, we start heading down the towpath. Trees lining our left whilst the Thames thunders past our right. The tide is high, the water and our footsteps against the packed dirt are the only sounds to be heard.
We keep on till we pass Fulham stadium on the opposite side of the river. He finally stops, evaluates the river and the surroundings prompting me to do the same to be sure we’re alone and he throws his arm back launching it into the Thames. I watch as it hits the surface and starts to sink. For some reason, I relate. I feel a bit like a sinking ship right now. My life as I know it is getting snatched from underneath me and I have no control over it. I could lose my brother and my boyfriend in one fell swoop. I hate that the selfish part of me wonders what happens to me when I lose the most important part of me.
“Come on, love,” Steve says as he throws an arm around my shoulders and guides me back to the car. “It’s done now, we can't do anything more.”
I sink into the safe feeling Steve’s arm provides me but my stomach is still in bits. “What if he goes away for a while,” I mumble.
“He won't,” Steve says absolutely.
“You don't know that. He could get like twenty years. Those boys in Ilford got fifty.” God, the thought of it makes me want to cry.
“But he could get eighteen months. Nine on good behaviour.” He offers me a smile but I don't return it.
“He’d still be in prison.” I thought I prepared myself for the possibility that he most likely would go away at some point, but now the reality is here, it's like a knife to the gut.
He gives my shoulder a squeeze. “Alek is a tough kid. He’s resourceful, smart and well-liked. He’ll be okay.” I let out a shaky breath and Steve's arm drops from around me. “We all knew the consequences. Shit happens babe, we just have to take it in our stride. We have to be there for him, alright?”
I nod my head in agreement as I unlock my car and we both climb in. I pause before starting the engine to look at him. His blue eyes older than he is. “Thank you.” He waves me off but I continue. “No. Seriously. Thank you. I never told you that.”
“You don't have to thank me, it's what family does.”
“I mean for everything. For looking out for me and Alek all these years.”
He blinks at me, looks a little taken aback. “I know I’m not your dad,” He swallows. Not very good at emotional conversations, Steve. “But, you guys, you’re my kids.”
Despite the situation, my chest warms and I smile. He pulls me in for a rough hug before letting go and facing forward like he never said any of it.
Sleep finds me eventually that night but not after I've run through every worst-case scenario possible.
I awoke to my mum's frantic voice seeping underneath my bedroom door. She's shouting and I can only imagine Steve has just told her. Grunting, I unwrap myself from Julius’ warm furry body, he cracks one eye at me, looks very miffed and curls further into the covers. I pull myself out of bed, wrapping my hair in a bun and putting my slippers on to shuffle downstairs. I can hear my mum freaking out from the top of the stairs. Just at the same moment my youngest brother Jack, comes out of his room, his eyes still half closed. “What is she screaming about?” He asks in a groggy voice, arms shielding his eyes from the light in the hallway.
“Nothing exciting.” I shrug. We don’t need everyone panicking at seven in the morning. He grunts, turns back around and closes his door. I mentally prepare myself as I walk downstairs and as soon as I enter the living room my mum spins around to face me. Her face is tight with worry, it makes her look even younger than she is. “What happened?”
“I told Steve everything I knew.”
She turns on Steve who gives her a look to say she's overreacting. “You didn't think to wake me?” She screeches, possibly waking the whole street up though it's not like our neighbours aren't used to it.
“Nat, it's your day off. I didn't want to wake you up. It's not like we could have done anything last night.” He looks to me for backup and I nod, taking the seat next to him.
“Oh that's bullshit, you just didn't want to deal with it.” She glares at him.
“Mum, we don't know anything right now. You’ve got to calm down.”
