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I’m spiralling.
“Mira?” He prompts, voice softer than I ever hear it.
I put it all away for later. “I've got you.”
He lets out a relieved breath “You're the only one who does, apparently.” His tone is coated in bitterness and it only leads me to believe Tom messed up tonight. Badly.
“Anything else?” I ask.
“Powiedz Babci, zeby sie nie martwila.” Just tell grandma not to worry.
“Oczywiscie. Call me when you get out?”
“Yeah.” He says shortly before the line goes dead. I take a few seconds to gather myself and think through the plan before shoving my shoes on to race out of the flat. I make it to Alek's house within ten minutes. The roads are quiet, no feds that I can see. I park up the road a little and walk the couple of houses back. I go through next door's back gate. Luckily it’s empty, has been empty for a few weeks now. I hop the fence and let myself in through Alek's back door with my key. I have no idea if the police will turn up but I'm not hanging around to find out. My stomach churns as I make my way through the dark house. Julius stands at the top of the stairs watching me as I appear at the bottom. I give him a quick scratch and click my fingers so he follows me into the wardrobe.
I grab one of his big Louis holdalls and get to my knees to open the safe. It clicks open and my stomach drops. I stare at it for a second, frozen. Laying on top of the stacks of money is a gun. A large silver handgun that seems to suck all of the air from the room. I knew he had one, I’m not an idiot. I’m not sure why I just assumed it wouldn’t be in here, where the fuck else is it going to be? Guns make me nervous. They’re weapons made purely for taking lives and it makes me genuinely uncomfortable. My shoulders slump and I look at it for longer than I should whilst in a house that could be raided any second. What does he need a gun for? I know that seems so self-explanatory but suddenly I'm wondering if he's ever used it for its sole purpose? If he's ever taken a life? My stomach knots up completely.
Julius shoves his head into my side as if to be like, ‘What are you doing? Get on with it.’
I frown at him. “Did you know he had this?” I ask him. He tilts his head to the side, light blue eyes confused.
No time for this. Later. I tell myself, using the sleeve of my jumper to pick it up with two fingers and drop it in the bottom of the bag. I then begin taking as much of the cash as I can fit, leaving a bit in there and his important documents so it doesn't look cleared out. I snatch a neatly folded jumper from the side and pack it in the bag on top. Not that it will fucking hide anything if I get caught but it’s something.
I close the safe up and dash downstairs, Julius following behind me on loud paws. I can't leave him here, when the police undoubtedly turn up there's no way Jules won't cause some serious harm. The bag is like a dead weight at my side. Reminding me what could happen if I'm caught and Aleksy goes down. I might not see him for years.
I let myself out his back door just as I hear several cars pull up out front. My breath catches but I don’t stop. I sling the bag over the fence and click at Julius to the fence. “Jump,” I say as quietly but as hastily as I can. He sits back and springs on his back legs, clears the fence in one. Kind of grateful for his rigorous training now. I follow seconds later, pausing with my fingers on the wood of next door's side gate. My heart is like a jackhammer in my chest. It's too close. What if they recognise me? I’m his identical twin for fuck sake. No. I click at the next fence over for Julius, throw the bag over and climb after them. I land on my feet and I'm eternally grateful that the occupiers aren't in their back garden. By the grace of god their back gate is unlocked allowing me to slide out like I do it every damn day. Julius trots beside me, dutifully. I keep my hand in a fist in front of his nose so he keeps forward. My grip on the bag is iron, palm sweating against the leather strap. I throw a quick look over my shoulder in time to see two police climb out of their van and start towards Alek's door.
I lick at my lips as I internally scream at my legs not to bolt. This is just a leisurely stroll to the car. Nothing untoward happening here. I reach my car and even pause, putting the bag in the boot and opening the door for Julius to hop in, I slide in afterwards and he looks at me, almost earnestly. I pet his head and allow the deep breaths that follow. My hands shake as I pull off and head home in the most normal manner possible. All the while, I'm trying not to have a full-on meltdown.
The lights are on downstairs when I arrive but that's normal. Despite it being nearly 3 a.m., there's always someone awake in this house. I open up the front door and push Julius in with my foot to shut it quietly behind me.
My stepdad Steve is sitting on our sofa with a beer in hand watching the football match from earlier today. Julius hops up next to him and he turns his head towards me, his smile turning to a frown when he sees my face. “What happened?”
“Alek and Tom were arrested.” I all but collapse back against the wall, finally releasing the bag and letting it hit the floor with a thud.
He groans and throws his head back against the sofa. “For fucks sake.” It's no secret what Alek does and my stepdad isn't exactly an angel himself, he's done his fair share of illegal activities in his time. He went to prison when I was 12 for his role in the robbery of a jewellery store. He was away for three years, it was a hard time for my mum, he's her rock. “Do we know the charges yet?”
I shake my head, words totally escaping me.
He shakes his head, turning the volume down on the remote. “Your mum’s going to have a fit.”
Oh my god. I didn't even think about Mum. She’s going to have a heart attack. “Don't wake her up, tell her tomorrow.”
“Fucking hell.” He moans again. Julius paws him and lets out a little whine. Steve takes a frustrated breath but roughly strokes him, appeasing him. It's not the first time Alek has been arrested but all the other times were small, like fighting or being drunk and disorderly, nothing to do with drugs. He's been careful so far. My eyes move to the bag at my feet like I can see the weapon lying at the bottom. A shiver runs through me. Now I’m home, the realisation sets in. I need to get rid of it, if he’s possibly used this? It's enough to vomit my frozen pizzas onto the cream carpet.
Steve's eyes follow my gaze to the bag on the floor and a look of knowing passes his face. “What's in the bag?”
I don't answer immediately. I’m too scared to say it. I don't want him to come to the conclusions I'm suddenly jumping to.
“What's in the bag, Cas?” He repeats, voice more sharp.
“Money from Aleks safe.” I swallow. “And a gun.”
His mouth parts and his eyes turn hard. Worried but hard. “And he got you to go get it?”
“It's always been the plan,” I tell him, defensive.
He shakes his head and blows out a breath. “What the fuck is he doing with a gun?” He asks the room, hands slapping down against the sofa cushions. Julius insistently nuzzles underneath one of his arms. Steve ignores him.
