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“I’m making sure that I’m hiring the right people that are applying for the right reasons.” Andrew tilted his head. “How does she feel about you applying for this?”
Dyllan remained silent. His jaw ticked as he stared at the man across from him.
“I see.” Andrew sat forward, placing his forearms on his desk. “Do you have kids?”
“No,” Dyllan ground out.
“Been married long?”
“No.”
“Does she have experience with you being away from home? Out where she can’t talk to you for days, sometimes weeks? Being in constant danger?”
Saying nothing spoke volumes. Dyllan stayed firm in his spot, eye twitching.
“Do you see where I’m going with this, Dyllan? It’s your life, and I’m not going to base my decision on how you make your life choices.”
“And for those like Jax who have all those, but you decided to send them anyway?” Dyllan ground the words out through his teeth. Heat flared through his body, fists clenched where they rested on his lap. All the feelings of losing Jax rushed through as Andrew’s words sunk in.
Did he give this talk to Jax? Did Jax just not care enough about staying behind for Deanna and the boys?
“At the end of the day, it’s not my call. Everyone applies to these jobs for a reason. I just want to make sure you think it through before you accept anything. Take a few days, hell even a week, and think about it. As I said, if you want it, the job is yours. We can wait until your term as mayor is done, but we need to know your answer quickly.”
Dyllan nodded and stood, shaking Andrew’s hand before leaving the office.
As soon as he got back into his rental car, he placed his forehead on the steering wheel and let out a breath. He’d been so sure of what he wanted when he walked into that office, but now he wasn’t. Skylar’s words rang through his head. Was he running away? Did he really think that by taking this job, he was saving others? Saving Skylar?
Pounding his fist on the steering wheel next to him he sat up, wanting to do more than just a wayward single punch. What he needed was to punch the shit out of something, to let out his aggression and then maybe he could think clearly.
Starting the car, he backed it up and drove back to his hotel. The whole time he thought about Skylar and how he’d left things with her. They’d barely spoken since she had found out about the job. She’d done everything she could to not be home as much as possible, slipping into bed at night and, at least, appearing to be asleep until after he left for work in the morning. He’d attempted to speak with her, but she wouldn’t have it, instead just offering one word answers while averting his gaze.
Fuck, that’s what I’d been doing to her all this time. No wonder she’s pissed.
What hurt most of all was that he missed her. He missed holding her in his arms, kissing her, making love to her. He missed the way they would sit on the couch together, him watching a movie while she read a book. Even if they weren’t doing the same thing, they were together. He’d never experienced such a natural companionship with someone, and its loss hurt worse than anything he’d ever experienced before.
Now he questioned why the fuck he was even in Ottawa. What had he been thinking when he applied for it? He never wanted this for himself. He never had the desire to go out and do private contract work. Now he questioned if he did take the job, would it even make an impact that mattered? Would it save a life, or just wreck his?
Dyllan let the GPS guide him back to his hotel, mindlessly following the instructions while he focused on what he was going to do. He’d royally fucked everything up back in Logan Creek. Skylar wasn’t talking to him. He’d been avoiding the guys and doing the bare minimum at work. He had until the following day to formally submit if he was even going to run again as mayor of Logan Creek and he hadn’t even opened the document. He felt as if his life was falling apart in front of him, and he had no idea how to fix it.
Shuffling his way back to his room, he threw himself onto the bed. Staring up at the white popcorn ceiling above him, he ran through all the what ifs in his situation.
What if Skylar took the job in Vancouver, leaving him to take this one and financially provide for her while letting her live her dream.
What if he took the job; would it really prevent someone like Jax from dying?
What if he took the job and died? While the idea of dying hadn’t scared him since enlisting, how would Skylar handle it?
What if he stayed? Would they turn out just like his parents?
What if he could be happy?
A constant chiming from his phone pulled him out of his downward spiral. Seeing it was from the guys, he unlocked the screen and scrolled.
Travis: Thompson, are you alive?
Zach: Yeah, should we send out a search party? I have some ideas for more beer names, and I need you to remind me how stupidly corny they are.
Travis: Do you need taste testers too? You know Brody and I are down.
