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“Nice try.”
“No, honestly.”
“Well, I want you to stay around for as long as possible. And if there are things you can do that give you an even infinitesimally small chance of beating this, I want you to do it. But that’s me being selfish, too. I like you a great deal, Rachel Gift. And I’d like for you to stick around as long as possible.”
She said nothing because she’d gotten exactly what she’d hoped for: his honest feelings on the matter. And if they discussed it any further, she’d start overthinking everything and go back into the vicious cycle of wondering if he truly wanted to endure the hurt and loss of her eventual death.
For now, she was perfectly content to sit in the night with him, in the quiet with her daughter and grandmother safe in the house behind her. No more Lynch. No more cases taking her away from them. They were safe, and Jack was there with her, his arm around her. Right now, she honestly couldn’t ask for anything else.
She loved that they were perfectly fine with silence. They let the quiet of the night settle in around them. With her head on his shoulder, she placed her hand on his chest and felt his heartbeat. He kissed her on the top of the head, and it was all done without a single word passed between them, even though so much was being communicated.
It was as perfect a moment as she could have asked for. Unfortunately, it was ruined several minutes later when Jack’s phone buzzed from his pants pocket.
“Sorry,” he said, digging the phone out.
“Um, don’t you dare apologize. Unless it’s another woman.”
He checked the ID and showed it to her. “Definitely not.”
It was a line from the field office—not Anderson’s number, but one of the extensions off of it.
“About your van?”
“Don’t know. Let’s see.”
When he answered the call, he removed his arm from around her shoulders and stood up. “This is Rivers.”
She watched him as he paced back and forth along the porch. She smiled, as it was something she’d always teased him about. The man simply could not stand still when he was on the phone. She listened to his one side of the conversation, which consisted of a few “Yeah”s and “uh huh”s and nothing more. When he finally came to the end of the conversation, there was a confused tone in his voice when he said, “Yeah, I can do that.”
He needed the call and sighed. “I have to go. That was Anderson. Some case that he wants me on and honestly, if it gets me off of looking for that van, I’m all for it.”
“And you’re going in for a briefingnow?At nine thirty?”
She wanted to ask him what this new case was about, wanted every detail. But she didn’t want to hold him up and, more than that didn’t want to come off as needy.
“Yeah. He wants me on the scene as soon as possible. It’s right here in the city, so…” He shrugged and came over to her. “Sorry. I feel like I’m rubbing it in your face.”
“Maybe you are,” she said with a smile as she got to her feet. “But I think I’d be doing the same thing if the roles were reversed.”
“Oh, Iknowyou would.” He kissed her and, when he pulled back, added: “I meant what I said. I want you to stick around. And for whatever time you’re still here, I want to spend a lot of it with you. If this new case allows it, how do you feel about a late breakfast tomorrow?”
“That would be perfect,” she said. And it would. Paige would be in school, and Grandma Tate had a class at the downtown gym. Yoga or something. In other words, they’d have the house to themselves. And brain tumor or not, being alone with Jack was something she’d been thinking about for a few weeks now.
“I’ll see you then.”
He offered one more kiss, and then Rachel walked him back inside. Grandma Tate was sitting on the couch, reading. “Leaving so soon?” she asked.
“Yeah,” Jack said with a frown. “Duty calls.”
Rachel walked him to the door and watched him make his way down the sidewalk. She didn’t look away and closed the door until he was in the car and backing out of the driveway. Seeing the empty passenger side of the car broke her heart, and she hated the fact that she’d never experience that again—to be off on a case, sharing the car and thoughts on the case with him. That was perhaps the hardest thing to accept about this hand she’d been dealt and then redealt: to know that part of her life was over now, fading away like the taillights of Jack’s car as he started down the street.
CHAPTER FOUR
Jack had visited Director Anderson’s office several times in the past few weeks without Rachel by his side, but his visit felt different. It was a briefing after business hours, a meeting in Anderson’s office at night. That fact alone put some urgency into it. And with that sense of urgency came memories of the more high-profile cases of his career, the cases that had pulled him out of bed at all hours of the night.
Those cases had almost always meant Rachel would go with him. Even from Jack’s early years at the bureau, it had been undeniable that they were a flawless team. So to walk down the third-floor corridor toward Anderson’s office at night without Rachel stung in a way he hadn’t been expecting.
As Anderson’s office drew closer, a startling thought came to his mind. Whatever this case was, he could turn it down. He could say no and request some time off—time to spend with Rachel. He knew it would piss her off—to miss out on work just to sit around and spend time with her. It wasn’t even like she wasactuallysick. Not now, not yet. Her symptoms had been a bit harsh for a while after their last case, but according to Rachel, the last five or six days had been pretty much normal—with the exception of a growing depression.
