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“You know damn well what I'm thinking about, Nick.”
“Join the club. I've been thinking about it since it happened. Sometimes I think that maybe it would be even better if we had not done it, though. The way you have made me crazy wasn’t something that I saw coming. Surely you can see what you’ve done to me.”
She said that she could, but I don't think she really did. I don't know how innocent she really was, but I certainly knew that I wanted to change it. I wanted to turn her into the bad girl, and I knew it was dying to come out of her, for the right person. So badly I wanted to be the right person. I would have given anything.
She asked me after a little while back, why there was a backpack on my shoulder, and I told her that she would find out soon enough. It was not enough that we went into the Cave together alone. I wanted to set the stage, and I had a little picnic that I had packed earlier in the day. I was convinced that all I had to do was get her here and then it would play out like it was supposed to.
That's what I wanted to think anyway.
We had been exploring the cave for about an hour by the time we stopped and I asked her if she was getting hungry. It was probably not quite lunchtime, but since we had left before she could have breakfast or pretty close to it, I figured that it would be time for a stop. I knew of a place with just the right level ground for what I had in mind. Betty wasn't the only one that was thinking about our time together. I certainly was and so help me, I so desperately needed the right stage for my play.
“Why don't we stop here and have a little snack?”
She agreed and I was thankful for that. There was a big part of me that thought I might quite literally go crazy if I didn't get my hands on her soon. I knew that I physically wouldn't lose my mind, but then again, maybe I would. It was a real possibility.
“Why do I feel like you have ulterior motives?”
“You should probably know right off the bat, that I definitely have ulterior motives. I think you do as well. Why else would you come with me? You're thinking about our time together and so am I. Don't you wonder what would have happened if we would have gone further? How good that could have been?”
I was laying it on thick, but I couldn't help myself. It wasn't just a question that had come up in my mind randomly, but one that I had been thinking about for quite some time. Ever since I heard the sweet sounds of her pleasure, I knew that I wasn't going to be able to rest until I had given her the same pleasure again. This time I wanted it to be with my mouth and not just my fingers. This time, I wanted to be deep inside of her when she called out like she couldn't stop herself.
Instead of taking it the way I wanted her to go, she pulled away and got a little defensive.
“What's going on? I was just joking. We don't have to do anything.”
“I want to, that's the problem.”
“Well, if you want to, then why are you moving away from me?”
“Because. I told you I don't do this sort of thing.”
I agreed and told her that she had said it before. I still really didn't understand why she kept saying that. I think she wanted me to know that she was a good girl, but that was pretty obvious to me. I just wasn't getting it, though.
“I know I said it before, but I don't think you were really listening to me. I don't do this, and I don't know you very well. I've been waiting a very long time and I don't know if I'm ready to give into the feelings I have for you. I do want you and that's probably the problem. I'm worried that I won't be able to say no.”
I felt like I was supposed to read between the lines. I played back the words she said to me. What was I missing? I know that she was a good girl. Why did she keep reiterating it, though?
“When you say that you don't do this, what do you mean by that?”
Her face got a little bit redder and I would have given anything to know what was on her mind in that moment. Was she thinking about us again? That's what I was thinking about. I was thinking about how it had felt and how she had sounded.
“I mean that I don't do that. Ever.”
The bright light was starting to show, and I was starting to get what she was talking about. She had never done it before. She was a virgin. Why had that not come to my mind so completely before? In my defense, I had never met a virgin, especially not her age, and I probably hadn’t thought that they really existed.
Great, now what? There goes my whole plan, blown to bits. I knew that she was innocent, but a virgin? I liked to think of myself as a lady’s man, but I know that I was not the only one who had tried. Many had. They had to of.
