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My eyes widened. It made me sick all over again to think that my mate had been hit with something so poisonous. My wolf began to growl, but there was nothing to aim our rage at. Evan was dead. And I was the one who did it.
“Will there be any long-term effects?” I asked.
“He shouldn’t shift for at least a week, and during that time, he’ll be weaker than he’s used to.”
My eyes widened. “But wouldn't shifting make him heal faster?”
“Under normal circumstances, yes, but silver is a wolf’s greatest weakness. When he was hit with it, his wolf receded inside him. The silver is in Alpha Night’s blood, and until it’s run its course, he’ll need to take it as easy as possible.”
“I’ve never heard of that before.”
“You wouldn’t have. Alphas aren’t open about their weaknesses for this reason. Centuries ago, challengers would dip their claws in silver or otherwise hide silver on their bodies to better their odds of winning. It wasn’t against the rules back then, and these days, Alphas keep the information under wraps. It’s important for you to know that, too, now that you’re an Alpha, Bryn.”
I resisted the urge to wince. Like Night and all other Alphas before me, I would begin my rule with blood on my hands. “Yeah. I guess you’re right. Is there anything I can do to help Night more?”
He shook his head. “I’m sorry, but no. His body needs to deal with this on its own.”
“I understand. Thank you, Dr. Stan.”
He nodded with a small smile, and then left. Dom and I were left alone with the sleeping Night. I sat on the bed beside him and touched his hair, his thick locks curled around my fingers.
“I’ll have wolves stationed around the cabin,” Dom said. “I have to get back to the fight. I imagine you’ve got things covered here?”
I nodded. It was hard not to feel awful for being away from my people, but even the idea of being more than a few feet away from Night made my wolf whine and gnash her teeth. I felt the same. I didn’t want to leave him alone while he was so vulnerable.
“I’ll check back in soon.”
“Okay. Be careful, Dom.”
He gave me a half smile. “Always.”
As Dom headed out, I continued to pet Night in his sleep, watching the occasional twitch of an eyelid or the corner of his mouth. If he so much as gasped in his sleep, I would be there to smooth his brow and soothe his worries.
Hours later, after a night of fitful, dreamless sleep, I rolled out of bed. Night was still lying on his side. Bandages were still stuck to either end of the bullet wound and spots of blood had seeped through while he slept. I’d need to change them, but first I needed to wash off my own grime and sweat and blood.
I climbed into the shower, made the water as hot as possible, and stepped in. It burned, but I didn’t turn down the temperature. It needed to be boiling if I wanted to scrub my skin free of the memory of what I’d done. The ripple that went through me as Evan’s bones snapped in my jaws, the flash of heat as his blood hit my tongue.
I shivered in spite of the temperature and scrubbed myself almost raw.
When I finally felt clean, I stepped out. My skin was bright red, but I still felt dirty. In the mirror, I could see no trace of the wounds I’d sustained during the fight, and there was no evidence of the life I’d stolen. I brushed my teeth until I spat blood with the toothpaste in the sink, and then I brushed more. It had been only hours since I killed Evan. Through the window in the bathroom, I saw that the sun had only just begun to rise. It was a blessing that I hadn’t had any nightmares last night, but I was sure that they would come to haunt me soon enough.
There was a knock on the front door. I spat more red-stained toothpaste into the sink, pulled on another robe, and jogged downstairs to answer. Already, my skin had healed from the abuse I’d put it through.
Dom was there when I answered the door. “Hey, how are you holding up?” he asked.
I couldn’t give voice to the emotions that plumed like thick smoke in my mind, so I said nothing.
Dom, correctly interpreting my silence, gave me a sad smile and moved on to the next topic. “The ferals finally retreated.”
“That’s great news. What were our casualties?”
“Dozens are injured, and about ten of those injured are in critical condition. As for deaths, we lost five Wargs and twenty-five Kings.”
I should have been braced for the news, but I wasn’t. Last night, I’d seen fifteen total dead, but that number had now doubled. I knew that in the grand scheme of things, these numbers were only a fraction of the populations of either pack, and I knew that things could have gone a lot worse. But that didn’t make me feel less guilty. It was a win, but to me, losing even one life was a huge loss. How could I not feel responsible? I’d failed my pack because I hadn’t been prepared for this to happen. I hadn’t even been able to help in battle because I wasn’t trained for it.
If you had been trained, you wouldn’t have had to kill Evan. That cruel voice slithered into my thoughts and left me feeling raw and restless. I need to learn how to fight. ASAP. I refused to let this happen again. I owed it to my people. Even when I was no longer Alpha, I would still be the Den Mother, and that carried almost as much responsibility.
“I heard that the council wants to speak with you when you’re available,” Dom said.
